Love Is Waiting
by dorktopia
Summary: Before Bella and Before all the chaos, Jacob had Harley ,The inspiring rockstar . Bestfriends turned lovers until one thing got in the way. Fame. Can Jacob accept Harley back in or is it too late? Has she lost him to Bella already?
1. Chapter 1

**First time posting so i hope this goes well. i hope you have the time to review.**

I was only 3 when I met her. But I still remember her making me play with her Barbie's. I had to; she had a way of making me do whatever she wanted. This one time we even put one of her dress on me. She found it funny, Rachel and Rebecca did too. Surprisingly since they hated us for ripping off their Barbie heads and hanging them on our bikes. Harley was always there. Every memory I had as a kid was of Harley. She was my best friend, lived next door to me, our families were close. Even Rachel and Rebecca had crushes for Harley's older brothers. Harley was mine, and she kind of always would be.

We grew up together, I saw her lose her first tooth, she saw me ride my bike without training wheels, I saw her first music show in kindergarten, she saw my first homerun, and we saw each other go through puberty. That really got to me. My best friend changed completely. Her wavy black hair in its usual ponytail, the old pink ribbon tied on tightly. Her face still in its usual scowl, her pure lips that yelled at me and harassed me puckered up in a pout, her hazel eyes intense, that beautiful face and voice. But none of that mattered when she got boobs. And boy did she get them.

I remember the day.

"_Do you have my sketch book? " I sat there with Quill and Embry. On my living room floor playing some video game Embry had just got for his birthday. I hadn't seen Harley in 2 weeks. She claimed she was sick. When I asked with what she yelled and said to fuck off. We were only 12. But that day when she barged in, we knew why. She wore her usual t-shirt. Only this time it was tighter. I remember the silence. It was very comical actually. The laser blasts on the video game continued while we guys looked at Harley. Our mouths opened and Quill gulping loudly. _

"_Can you idiots do something else then just stare at me? " She was beautiful before. But whoa, _

"_When did you grow boobs?" Her pale face reddened up. But from anger, not embarrassment _

"_You idiot! "Then she stormed out but not before throwing a pillow at Quill. _

Since then I looked at her differently. Dad even gave me the talk after Quill kept yapping about her. He developed a crush, he always had. Every one of us had one on her at one point. It happens when your friends with the opposite sex. But she didn't really look at us that way. Dad told me about periods and it was awkward. I didn't really want to know what happened to her every month. Why sometimes her moody days were completely out of control. Why she never wanted to hang out or let me hug her like I always did.

But after awhile of her avoiding us she came by and sat with us and played too. It was like nothing changed when our bodies did. Then, at 13. When we were still at out awkwardness, it happened. I realize d I loved her. The same night she confessed to me that Bradley Morris was taking her out on her first date. The jealously fumed through me that whole week. Even dad noticed, grinning and laughing when I stomped by him.

"You could just tell her, Jake. "He would say from his chair.

"Tell her what, I've told her. Zach Morris is nothing but a pig. He won't treat her right. "I'd argue.

"Can you? "

"Of course I can, im her best friend! "

"Then… "Dad knew me well. My crush on the girl had developed to something stronger. We were too close to be taken away from each other. So that night when she went out, I pushed Zach against the bathroom wall at school and told him if he hurt her I would shove my foot up his ass that it' come out his mouth. He nodded quickly before running back to his friends. Embry and Quill laughed at his terrified face. .we felt cool, we just warned a guy about hurting our friend. But it didn't work. That night he didn't show up. Leaving Harley at home crying her eyes out. I heard her cry through my window. After she found out what we did she didn't want to talk to us. Ignored me for a month before our parents got involved. They sat us against each other at my kitchen table.

"Why aren't you talking to Jacob, Harley? "Her dad, Greg asked

"I don't like people. Mainly Jacob Black. "She looked up at me. Her dark eyes looking up at me through those lashes. She was different then other girls. She was a lot like her parents. Both were punk rockers as teens and their parents being hippies. Dad called her the next Joan Jett, Pat Benatar. Anyway, she wore black long-sleeved, black pants and her combat boots. Her hair dark as midnight with those pink strands appearing in the most random places. I thought they were cool against her pale skin.

"Harley… "I was still in the process of puberty. So my voice cracking made her laugh. I sat back and sinked in while she found amusement. Our dad's shaking their heads while laughing along.

"Why did you threaten Zach? " She asked

"I thought he was going to hurt you. " I had found my voice

"Im a big girl. I can take care of myself. "

"Oh ya, cause you can take on Zach Morris, he's 5 '7. You barely make the 5 foot mark. "

Harley was small but once you got her mad she'd hit you. Dad once said she had anger issues and she just shrugged. She called herself passionate. No matter what emotion.

"Well sorry, I didn't know there was a height requirement. " She rolled her eyes and sat back

"He's a jerk! A complete douche bag! "

"So is Quill … and I still hang out with him! "SHe shrugged her shoulders and leaned closer to me.

"But you don't date him! "

"No cause he's a Perv. "

"And Zach isn't? '

"That doesn't matter. "She shook her head and looked away from me.

"Yes it does. He would treat you like dirt. "

"No he wouldn't. And if he did then I would break up with him. There's going to be a guy in my life that breaks my heart. Might as well get it over with. "

"No, I won't allow that. You deserve better. Zach's not right for you. "

"And you are? " Everyone's head shot up at her. She crossed her arms and leaned back against her chair.

"What … "

"Embry told me, don't play dumb. I know, I've known. And if you really thought Zach wasn't as good as a guy as you, you should've told me. We never keep secrets. Even if its crushes on each other. "

I couldn't say anything. I was awestruck. She knew me better then I thought. She smirked at me.

"Told you. "Dad smacked my head and glared at me.

"Do you … Like me?" the words broke out of me.

"I think you're cute. And so do all the girls in our grade, and some older girls… But I really do like you because you're not like other boys. "

"Other boys being Embry and Quill. " I asked sheepishly

"Embry is a sweetheart. Quiet and takes my abuse. Quill's a Perv that doesn't shut the fuck up. You make me laugh, you don't take my shit, and you're a sweetheart and gentlemen. You don't compare to anyone in our grade… No other grade. "My heart swelled. And it all felt warm to me. Im not sure if it was the boner I was hiding that just deflated or it was just joy. I wasn't nervous or embarrassed how open she was about it in front of our dad's who stayed quiet through the whole thing. IT didn't matter to Harley; she was open about her feelings if she knew it was needed.

"I like you too, I kind of always have. "

"Even before the boobs? "

I blushed and tried not to look.

"Yeah, even before. "My voice cracked again and she giggled

"You're cute. "

We dated right after that. And our families loved it. They enjoyed watching me and her grow more affectionate towards each other. They felt safe knowing that that we dated someone they already knew. There as no awkwardness between us.

It was Christmas break; we were both deeply in love. Well I was. But I never told her. You'd think 2 years in a relationship you'd be open to say it but we were different. Harley was always the type to not really open up about her feelings. It's one of the reasons why she wrote music. It was easier for her to write it down and play then to actually speak of it. And she was amazing, and im not just saying that cause im her boyfriend. I had made her a bracelet. A new one. She had an old friendship bracelet that I had given her but I thought this one was it. My equivalent to a promise ring. I touched the braided dark leather in my hands. The dark brown would look beautiful with her pale skin.

"Jacob, Harley's here! " I grabbed the pink gift bag and looked myself once in the mirror. My black button up shirt looking perfect for her. Tonight was the night. I was going to tell her that I loved her.

The image of her standing there talking to my dad would always be in my mind. In her black tights and enormous Christmas sweater which she loved. Her hair still black but no longer straight but in curls intact by a big white bow. She wasn't tall, barely reached my shoulder. But the way she was built was perfection to me. Harley was Mexican, her family coming from a small little town in Mexico. Her wide hips that fluttered out like a woman's. I dreamed of holding onto them. Her curvy frame being lusted after all the boys in school. But only I was able to put it against me. Harley was the first girl in school to grow into her body. If you'd walk by her you'd think she was older but one look at her angelic face and you'd see she was just a child. Those big, round, dark brown eyes with the dark blue rim and specs that always held that hint of playfulness. And at times seductive. Those adorable dimpled cheeks that I kissed whenever I could. Just to make her giggle and laugh uncontrollably. Her pouty red lips that kissed me every time she was bored. To me, Harley was perfection. Her small flaws didn't exist to me. I didn't care for them.

"Jacob, I'll be at the Clearwater's. I will see you soon. "Dad gave me a soft smile before heading out.

"Merry Christmas Billy. "

"Merry Christmas, Harley. "

Dad had left and I still stood there. Harley didn't look at me once; she looked down at her feet. Her boots barely holding on with duck tape. But she never got rid of them. She loved them.

I didn't feel right when I saw her dig her foot into the wood floor. She did that when she was nervous.

"Merry Christmas, Harley! " I walked toward her and held out her gift. The pink bag with black tissue paper holding the other present I got her.

She didn't take it from me instantly like I hoped she dropped her own bag and ran into my arms. It shocked me like crazy. Her usual calm demeanor was different. This time she hugged me tightly and I could feel her slightly twitch.

"Im so sorry, Jacob. I know I should've talked to you first when I got the call but… "

I watched her makeup run down her face like a rabid stream. Her soft voice becoming rough and course.

My heart dropped in a hurry. I could feel my stomach churn and the breakfast that I ate was coming back up.

"Harley, baby. Relax, what's wrong? "

"You're going to hate me. … "

"I could NEVER hate you. "

She whipped her nose with her arm and didn't look at me anymore.

"When I tell you what's happened you will. "

"Did… Did you… "

"I didn't cheat on you. "

That was all I needed to know to relax. For me to feel or know that another man had kissed my Harley was more then a death sentence for me.

"Then what is it… "

"Enigmatic got the deal, Jacob. We got the deal… "The smile grew on her face and I knew why. She had worked hard. Her and her band had worked hard to get that record deal. She worked through her school, her friends, her band practices. She worked damn hard to just get a guy form L.A to come down here to listen to her sing and play. No one would listen to a 15 year old girl sing with her band but somehow she got it down.

"That's great, Harley. Why are you crying? "

"Jacob, they want me to move down to L.A. "

"You'll be back in no time. "She would. I would make her.

"No Jacob. He said it could take months to record just one song. There's really no say how long it would take. But I will be away from you. Far away. "

I laughed at held her tighter. My overdramatic girlfriend. Always overreacting to small things. I loved it; it was always a different thing with her.

"But Harley. This is what you wanted, what you worked with for so long. You got that opportunity to do what you always fuckin wished for. I want that for you too. "

"Jacob, I know but I didn't think it would happen. There was such a slim chance and I got it. Don't get me wrong im fuckin happy. But when he said he wanted me to leave ASAP… I freaked. What about us? "

"We'll be together. I'll wait here for you. "

"Jacob. "She shook her pretty head and dropped the bags on the floor then pulled me towards the couch to sit.

"I want us to work out so much. But what if we don't? What if this is it, that phone call was all it took to break us apart. "

"It wont. I won't let it, Harley. I promise I won't let it. "

"I know you won't. "

H.P.O.V

Dropping you like the sun in my hands,

I should've showed you my love

Showed you what you meant to me

All those raining nights wasted on my selfish love

Only to leave you behind all alone.

The chords worked perfectly with the lyrics. Every note playing perfectly as the bus drove over the bumps on the road. I looked out my window and met the Seattle lights shining through. The nerves I felt kicked in stronger then when I got the phone call a week ago.

"Harley, we will be arriving in the morning. You should get some sleep. "My manager Xavier sat down in his quaff business suit next to me. Never once looking up from his blackberry as he typed away.

"Im not tired, X. "

"I know, but tomorrow we have a press conference in the morning in order to get this shit publicity. I need you in you're a-game. "

Xavier wasn't a friend like he promised in the beginning of all this. It was all strictly business. And I understood that entirely. But sometimes I felt alone. Especially when I didn't travel with my band. The guys had left a week early to spend with their families in Forks and La Push. I stayed back in New York recording some last minute songs for the new record. And I went on a small vacation to Hawaii with my movie star boyfriend. Life should be good right? I have the money to buy all I ever wanted, every girl wants to know every beauty product I use, what diet im on, what plastic surgeon I went to. Men lust after me, but it all was just so stupid. I hated it all and would take it all back. It lost all worth after I lost him. After Jacob left my life.

_2 weeks ago _

_The band and I sat in the dressing room. Just waiting for us to get on stage in MSG. _

"_So, where's Richie taking you this time, Harley? "_

"_Hawaii. " _

_The guys looked at one another and awkwardly laugh._

"_Didn't you already go there? " _

"_Yeah, I know where everything is this time. …" _

_I did. I went there with my band, my family and most importantly Richie. _

"_Not much fun is he? " Remy joked. _

_The guys hated Richie. They thought he was to perfect, too Hollywood for me. _

"_Shut up… "I dropped the wrinkly water bottle in the trash and dropped myself in the bean bag chair. _

"_Did you get the call, Harley? "_

"_What call? " _

"_The one from the council. " _

"_The council? "I asked _

"_Don't fuckin tell me you forgot them too…?" Remy stood up form his chair and kicked over the trash before running out. _

"_You pissed him off again, Harley. " _

"_What! I didn't do anything! " _

_Their manager Victor followed Remy out the room leaving me with Tommy and Dylan. _

"_You know the council, Harley. I don't know what Xavier r is telling you but it needs to stop. You missed Harry Clearwater's funeral already. You're on a short leash. Now. " _

"_The council needs our help. La Push is going down the drain. Every house, building is breaking slowly because of the rain. " _

"_Maybe they should put in rain gutters. " _

"_DAMN IT, Harley! " Tommy always kept his cool but now I feel like broke that. He stood up and threw his chair against the wall. _

"_It's not rain gutters that they need. They need help to rebuild. Financially! " _

_The feeling of guilt could just kill me now. It way the worst feeling ever. To see your small hometown slowly disincarnate while you make millions selling out arenas. _

"_What do you want me to do about it? I'll write a check if you want me to, Tommy. " _

"_I don't want a damn check. I want to perform for my family. In my hometown in my very own home. Remy wants to hold a small music festival there. With us headlining it. He came up with it himself and… " _

_I understood why Remy wanted this. It was his tribe, the rest of us were just pale faces. It was truly his home. _

"_Alright, im in. relax I understand. " _

"_It's okay to miss the past, Harley. You're only human. " _

I didn't sleep the whole night like Xavier suggested. I stayed up looking out the window and listening to my old songs in my bunk. The curtain closed leaving me in my dark little cave with the glow in the dark lights. THe pictures on the small wall by my feet. My mother and father, brothers and sisters. Embry and Quill on my 15th birthday. My quinceera. Both of them wearing their 50's era tuxes with pink bowties. Then the one that I stared at most, the one with Jacob and I. it was covered by my picture with John Hamm but every once in awhile when I felt numb, I removed that one and stared at Jacob's. I spent the entire day with him that day. My quince era. He was my head boy. The one I danced with the whole night. And he looked handsome in his tux. His long hair tied back neatly. I would relive that night if I could.

Not all good things last, I would be familiar with that concept. I thought I had it all but I let it slip it way. I let him slip away. I was selfish, I was rude and most importantly I was stupid. A complete fuckin idiot.

"Harley, wake up. We just passed forks and we're entering La Push. You have 15 minutes to get ready. "

La Push looked the same to me. It had been about 3 years since I left but it felt like a lifetime. I had changed from that naïve little girl in love that I was to the quiet rock star that hid away from everyone now.

I jumped off the bunk and ran for the small changing room in the back. I grabbed the first pair of jeans, a loose tank top and then a simple sweater. Dad had bought me some black rain boots with pink polka dots awhile back and I knew I wanted to wear them on top of my knee high socks. I slipped on a white headscarf and checked my makeup in the mirror. I knew my timing was perfection when I felt the bus pull a halt.

"Showtime, Marquez. "The bathroom window opened dup to Xavier's chubby white face.

"You clean up good, kid. " He pulled me along grabbing the pink umbrella and opening it before the rain drops could hit my head. I could already hear the screams of the fans that were being held back by security guards. Some cameras and news reporters running alongside me yelling questions left and right.

Before I knew it I was pulled through the back of the Quileute community hall. Nothing really had changed. Even the window was still concealed with wood from the time the guys and I broke in.

"Harley! "The guys picked me up happily and spun me around.

"Boy, did Hawaii give you a nice little tan. " They teased

"Shut up. "

"Alright, you guys go on in 2 minutes. " The lady pushed us forward being the large curtain.

All 5 of us trying to look out but the blinding white lights of the stage were being used.

"Everyone's out there, dad, mom, and your parents. Even the whole council …. "Remy explained. I knew he was different then the last time is aw him. He seemed happier and less much of a bitch.

"Is he… "

"No, he's … "

One of the directors pushed me forward and cued the begging of the press conferences.

"Harley, will Richie Thompson be visiting you during the festival? "

"Umm, im not sure. We haven't really spoken about that. " Tommy patted my leg calmly as the reports yelled out questions. Every one of them going straight to out love lives.

"Are you two engaged? "

"Are you pregnant? "

"Harley, how does it feel being back in La Push? Your home town. "

"I. I… it feels weird. I haven't been here for so long. "

"It's been three years? That seems like a short time to me! "I didn't know who yelled it but I knew very well the person wasn't a fan.

"I left to record the first album at such a young age, I think I changed so much sense then. I changed as a person and I don't remember how it feels to be here. "

"Have you guys started working on a new album? "

"We've been on the internet a lot reading the reviews to the one that just came out. I mean to us making music is a lifestyle. It's what we love to do everyday. I've spoken to Harley about writing and she's been helping all of us write some songs. I mean the girl had written all of our other albums with practically no ones help so we're trying to see where we go from there. "

"I agree with Remy, they need to pick up their slack. " I joked. The crowd laughed along with me while I continued

"But I feel good where we just left off. Right now, we don't really have anything final for a next album. We are just barely relaxed from the last one. We write but really nothing is final. "

The flashes of the cameras didn't bug after awhile. You sort of got immune to them.

"How do you boys feel about Harley's writing skills for this album? "

"For me, I think she's brilliant in anything she writes. She's always been much intoned to how she feels. "

"Harley is the type of person that will never tell you how she feels but when she writes it's like the craziest thing because she explains it all. When we first started it was this weird 'where am I 'sort of vibe. And I think that's why I love this first album. Because it was more fun and more reckless. It was just us kids rocking out in a small garage not caring and just dreaming of making it big. She got all the feelings down."

"Harley, how do you feel about that? "One asked

"The guys always give me credit for writing the songs but its them who give me inspiration. We as a band are closer then people may think. We're stuck on a tour bus together all the time. We have this bond where we know how the other feels and we have talks about how certain situations make us feel. I just take that and use it. The only thing that's mine are those many breakup songs every teenage girl is blasting in her room. "The crowd had to laugh at my stupid jokes. It way is there contracts.

"Those breakup songs are about an ex-boyfriend, right? "

"You could say so… "

"Alright, all questions are done for the night, thank you for all coming down. Please exit from the back carefully."

The security teams ushered the rowdy reports out while the guys and I sat there

"We did good, guys. Now time to go home and grub! "

"You okay, Harley? " Dylan asked

"Im just tired headche. Would it be okay if I went home? "

"Yeah, get your rest girl. We start rehersals tomorrow at Franklin's. "

"Franklin's? "

"Yupp, they're gonna build the stage first so w eneed somewhere to rehearse. Management wants us to start ASAP. See you at 9? "

"Yeah, bye guys. Love you. "

"I'm so glad to have you home, Harley. " Mom crushed me into her arms again.

"Im glad too mom. "

My house hadn't changed. It was still its wide opened space self. Everything completely tidy and spotless like my ocd mother liked it.

"We didn't change a thing after you left. Wanted it to feel like home when ever you came to visit. "

"And it feels like home. "

"How's Richie? " Dad asked

"Good, just came back from Hawaii before we get back to work. "

"Yeah, how long are you gonna stay, sweetheart? "

"Umm, im not sure. Maybe until after the festival. "

I shrugged it off but nothing but could see mom sadly smile.

"Well, go take a nap before dinner. You had a long day, tiger. "Dad kissed my cheek and I hugged mom before walking down the halls. My sister Gloria's room was the first to the right, right in front of my parent's room. Then Carlos and Alex's room facing each other as the hall came down. But straight ahead I could see my door. The black wood still shing then ever. Even with the green day stickers placed in the various spots. I had a green day phase, even dreamed of marrying billy Joel.

The Chrystal door knob felt smaller in my hands. Cold and unearthly like. But the clock that sounded down the halls took me back so many years.

"_What are you doing, Harley? " _

"_Gloria, shut up and go to bed. Im getting water. " _

"_Water? Why are you wearing your boots? " _

"_Can you two shut the fuck up? "The twins exited out of their room at the same time. It still freaked me out how well they did it. _

"_I will when she goes back to bed. " _

"_I will be back by 3. I promise. "I begged _

"_3, where the fuck are you going, Harls? " _

"_I have a gig in Port Angeles. " _

"_You are NOT going to port angeles on your own. " _

"_She's right, Harls. If it was in forks I'd gladly let you go… " _

"_Too far, little girl. " Carlos finished _

"_I have to go, it's important. I'll be safe. _

"_You're 14. You can't even drive. " _

"_Jacob's taking me. " _

"_Jacob… " _

"_Alright. " Gloria looked at the twins like they were crazy while I jumpe don them happily. _

"_What do you mean…? "_

"_Listen Gloria, Jacob can drive and he takes care of her better then dad does. And Dad has a over protection issue. "The boys were right. Jacob is very protective_

"_But… But… " _

"_Go to bed or I will tell mom the reason why you were late for piano practice. " _

_Gloria flared her nostrils and trotted back to her room. _

"_We're checking your bed at 3, if youre not in there we're telling dad. " _

My room didn't really did change. Everything was the same. My small little room still smelling like pine trees and apple cinnamon. My bed still looking like a fluffy cloud with its white comfy conforter, it's white faux fur piillow and throw blanket. The dark crimson walls glowing with mismatched Christmas lights. I dropped my sequin bag on the floor and looked that reporter that yelled was right, 3 years wasn't that long. I grabbed the old makeup on the counter and laughed at my crazy obsession with black. The black vanity mirror filled with pictures. All of Embry, Quill and Jake. Sitting in the seat even felt weird. I still fit, but it was a different feeling. I wasn't sure what I felt; I wasn't sad, or happy. Just numb. My clothes hamper still held my dirty clothes from 3 years ago, my closet still overflowed with clothes I didn't wear. It all seemed so surreal. I dropped the jacket, tore off the boots, ripped off the jeans and untidyied my bed. Slipped in to the fresh smelling sheets that were as warm and comfy then any hotel room I stayed in. I felt relaxed for once. Just laying there in the dark room with the colored lights. My curtains were dusty though. Surprising. The black looking gray at cleans it in the morning. I felt myself yawn and stretch under my pillow. Hitting the warm ball under the pillow.

Pulling out the brown ball I saw the inscription in the tag. The large sweater worn various times by Jacob Black. The only boy able to make me hate him so much then love him with every cell in my body. He left it here the last night. I would wear it when we were in his garage or when Embry and Quill came around to finally play football on the beach. Quill was a sore loser and didn't want to play. Jacob had to brib him to play, but it always was fun. The sweater was Jake's and smelled like him, to me that was always the best smell in the world. The oil grease, rain and mossy smell I loved from the moment my hormones kicked in. I never got tired of it. And somehow this sweater always smelled liked him, so I declared it mine. The last night… Our last night.

_Our legs were entwined together. My knee high socks colliding with his bare feet. I laid myself by his side hugging his body closely and trying to not to cry. I was leaving tomorrow to California and I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here with Jacob, my Jacob. _

"_Will you send me awesome postcards? " Jacob laughed while kissing the top of head. _

"_Why do you continue to be happy by this? " I sat up and covered my naked body with the loose sheets. Jacob followed me and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. _

"_Because being negetive won't help me. You know im gonna miss you, Harley. But I know it won't be the last time. You make it seem like a death sentence, we'll be together sooner then you think. " _

_Always positive Jacob. My true opposite. _

"_We've been best friends since we were small Jacob. You were always there, everyday, every hour and now… Now we'll be apart. "_

"_I know, maybe it will be good for us. Like… What if we grow up and find our mojo… " _

"_Our mojo? " Even I couldn't help but laugh at Jacob's words. _

"_Yes, mojo. Like our skills. Then when we're done. .. We'll come back together and be stuck like glue again… "_

"_With mojo, right? " _

"_Yes, our very own mojo. " Jacob laughed while biting my shoulder. _

"_Here, I want you to take this with you. " He reached over to the foot of my bed and pulled at the sweater. My sweater. _

"_No, Jacob that's your favorite sweater… _

"_It's only my favorite because it's yours. " _

"_I can't take this. " _

"_You're not, im giving it to you. It's not taking when it's a gift. " _

_I watched him unfold it wide and open it up for me. His eyes looking from me to the sweater. I dropped the fabric around my body and let him cover me. _

"_This way you know im always with you. Always here and just a phone call away. " _

_I knew I loved Jacob. I always did and always will. But I was so dependent on him it was dangerous. _

"_I feel like I have to give you something… "_

"_Nah, I have like 5 of your panties at home..: I turned around and swatted his huge arm while he laughed histerically. _

"_You idiot, shut up before dad hears and kills you. " _

_Our laughter died down as we laid back down on the bed looking ourside my window. Into the dark sky that held the whole universe. _

"_I love you, Harley. More then my own life. " _

My hands brought the sweater to my nose. The old scent hitting my stomach hard and sending me into a frenzy. It still smelled like him. The oil, the grass and the rain. All fabricated into every stich of the sweater. I pulled it on in a hurry and lay under my covers. The hood up covering my head and the scent carrying itself all over my body. I let it overtake me and for once, in the last couple of years. I fell asleep. Not waking up to noise or discomfort. But now, I was asleep soundly and peacefully. Safe from anything and anyone. I was invincible.

"Davidson, wake up sweateheart. " Mom spanked my butt playfully

"What time is it? " I looked up away form the dark hoodie.

"Its 10:30 "

"Holy shit! " I shot up from my bed and grabbed the first clothes I found in my sequin duffle bag.

"Sweetie, it's okay. They arent mad. They don't mind… "

"Still, mom don't you know how this makes me look? "

"But youre home… It's okay to spend time here. "

"I know mom but my job is important. I need to make sure I meet every deadline and practice. "

"I know its important Harley. But so is your family… "

"I was sleeping; I don't even think that's a family activity. I'll be back as soon as practice is over. "I kissed my mothers cheek before running out and grabbing the old car keys.

Franklin's was the local diner. It had the best burgers and hot dogs of all time. Everything about it was simple, from the old wood floors to the beat up cushion booths. Simplicity at its best. I rushed in quickly and met the spicy sausge air the diner reeked of.

"Im so sorry im late I … "

"Relax, Marquez. We understand, you finally got some rest. I think we'll let it slide this time. "

I wasn't usually one to sleep regularly. I could go two days not sleeping. Heck, I didn't even call my sleeping …sleeping, it was more like 2 hour naps.

"Im just sorry. I wasted like 2 hours of your guy's time.. "

"Think of it this way, you put up with our shit all the time. This is our I owe you. "

"Alright, now let's get this show on the road! " William came out holding the ipad and jotting things down immediately. Our tour manager was a close friend and confideant. We would never trade him for any hotshot pro. To us he was what we need to get our show running and being as successful as we were.

"We need to get your guys set done, what are we gonna want to play? "

"I want to do this throwback idea. Like we start from the beginning and work our way up to the new album. Then inbetween sets lets fuck shit up and do some covers. "

"Yeah , like we can start off doing our first songs then cover some songs that we were influenced by. Every album we start doing songs with should change the way it feels. Like I want the crowd to feel that mood change and bring out those emotions.. "

"I agree. I like it. I mean we're in your guy's hometown. You all are vulnerable and emotional messes from what I could see. So why not have the crowd , your fans feel that too. "

"Done, lets do this bitch! " Dylan cheered

"Are you ready, Harley? "

I smoothed out the flowing shirt with the big adorable cat face on it and looked in the mirror. It was a basic outfit for a bonfire. Jeans and a shirt, my pea coat and beanie. I was ready to face something I was hoping on not facing anymore. Everyone in La Push.

It was not that hard to realize what I was guilty about. Not visiting or doing anything to help my community but how could I. ive always felt guilty about living my town behind and not doing anything for it.

"Yeah, just let me relax.. "

"You know, we don't blame you . They don't blame you for anything. " Dad slid in next to me in the backseat while mom unloaded the food from the car trunk.

"I doubt that.. "

"Don't, theres no blame here but you. Youre blaming yourself , no ones pointing fingers but you. Relax and have fun. Connect with old friends. "

Dad slipped out squeezing my sweaty hand and helping mom with the food. I stopped being the lazy bum

And picked up a couple of pots and walked towards the small gathering. The guys were off in other sections with their families. I could see the Clearwater's , all together laughing. Leah looking incredibly different with shorter hair. Seth looked like a huge bolder, Sue looked like her old self. Just standing there laughing. You couldn't tell she lost her husband months ago. Then again not everyone is a depressed fuck like me.

"Is that my Chopper? "

"Is that my auntie Sue? " Sue dropped the big red bowl of food and took off to me. Embracing me as tightly as she could before pulling me away form her and giving me an up and down look.

"You've grown so much. "

"Eww, Sue. "

"You know what I mean… "

"Well, if it isn't my mini me? " Leah smirked down at me

"Mini me? Im sure you act more like me ? "

"I wasn't following me around when I was little though? " Leah laughed as she walked away .

"No, it was me and you. I remember… "

Seth really had grown two stories. The guy was a giant. Weird because I clearly remember I was taller then him. And I was a short shit . But now the boy towered over me like a tower.

"holy fuck balls. "

"I know, you thought you were an overnight sensation but .. " He flexed his arm and showed off his bulging biceps.

"relax there, solider. You might poke an eye out! " Seth laughed and pulled me into a hug.

"we missed you so much, Harley. "

"I missed you guys too. " I really did.

"come on, I'll keep you safe. " Seth wrapped my arm around his and walked me towards the bonfire.

"alright, well before I let you meet everyone im gonna lay it down straight. Sam and Leah are donzo. So… "

"but they were so cute togther. We were even planning to be at the wedding. "

"well yeah, but nows he's with Emily. " Seth looked over at the pit where Sam sat with the small tan girl. She was beautiful if you ignored the three long scars on her face down to her hand.

"and you know dad passed away… "

"sorry about that. I mean I should've been here … "

"don't explain to me. Remy told me and I sorta understand. I would've liked you here but some of us deal with things differently. "

The guilt was eating me up .

"come on…. " he again pulled me towards the fire and sat me down on a log.

"you do remember how these go, right? "

I nodded softly and looked across form me. Billy Black ,the man I once called my other father sat across from me. He looked older for just 3 years. His eyes were fixated on the crackling wood in the pit. My heart was in my throat. I knew what I did to Jacob wouldn't just effect him. It would effect everyone around us. From our friends, to our familes. Jacob and I were closer then people thought. Our families were in the relationship as much as we were.

"Harley! " I looked away from the elder and towards the small tables . Leah waved me over .

"I'll be back.. " I walked towards the crowd of people and Leah handed me a plate.

" Get your food before the guys do. They eat like pigs… "

"im actually not hungry . " I threw the plate on the table.

"what? You were always hungry.. "

I was but I lost my appetite over the years. with the anxiety and nerves always in my body I didn't have room for food.

"yeah, I had a big breakfast. "

"oh, alright. .. " Leah looked at me weirdly and walked away. I stood there looking out. I listenind to the waves slowly crash. The sounds of the drills bearly there. The stage was being built just for this festival.

"well, did you think of not saying hi to me? " I looked up at the tall man I had known since I was a small girl. The very man I said I was going to marry. How embarrassing.

My crush on Sam was something I would never live down. To me he was perfect, up until my feelings for Jacob took over.

"Sammy! " he eveloped me into one of his usual big bear hugs and kissed my cheek.

"you gotten big, Davidson. "

"thanks, " was he calling me fat?

Sam chuckled and shook his head.

"no, not fat. You're taller and more woman like. "

"are you checking me out, Samuel? Im not interested. "

Sam blushed and shook his head.

"im engaged. " he sheepishly admitted

"I heard, whos the lucky lady? "

"Emily! " I knew who she was. Leah's cousin. I had never met her in person but seen her in leahs pics. They were close from what I hard. It must suck for leah to see these two fall in love. Part of me wanted to hate this girl for stealing Leahs man but I couldn't. I didn't know the story and I couldn't judge. I wasn't one to be pointing fingers.

"this is Harley, she's an old friend of mine. "

"nice to meet you! " I shook her small hand

"im a big fan and when I heard Sam knew you I freaked , I knew then I had to marry him! " she joked

"thanks. I mean sam's a horrible babysitter but im sure he's treating you right. "

"he is. " Emily looked up at Sam lovingly. Both embraced eachother and seemed to drift away.

"im gonna go grab a water. "

The coolers were set aside away from the food. When I found the one not filled with soda and beer I grabbed a bottle and sat right on the cooler. I was stressing out and my stomach was doing black flips and front flips.. I felt like a shaky rat dog. .

"shut up.. You don't know… " the two males stopped in front of me. Their giant steps throwing dirt on my shoes. I looked down at the tan barefoot feet and saw the hairest toes. Quill.

And with that I looked up and saw two faces I had never thought I'd see again unless it was hell. Quill and Embry.

"hey. " I spoke without even thinking. It just erupted out of me like diarrhea.

Quill's lips were in a line and tight lipped. For once they were. They both stood there in awe. Embry opened his mouth but kept closing it repeatidly.

"hey? that's all you say? " Quill Yelled

"I dont.. "

"don't finish what you're going to say. Just know because of you we went through so much shit! " Quill began to shake . Two bigger guys walked forward and pulled Quill away around the house. Both men looking at me while they whispered in his ears.

Embry stood looking at me. Dead in the eyes with the confused look on his face.

"still overdramatic, huh? " I joked. I had to lighten the mood somehow.

Embry laughed softly and nodded his head eagerly.

"he always was. Why would he ever change? "

"I don't know. People change. " was that even a good answer?

"yeah, … yeah they do. " I looked up at Embrys face. The baby fat was all gone and all I saw was the handsome man my friend grew to be. Sweet innocent Embry was tall and jacked up like a body builder.

He dropped the shirt in his hand and walked towards me. His arms wrapped around my shoudlers and hugged me tightly. His hard body really crushing my boobs. His warmth unbelievably hot. and his kissed my hair while my soft cries exploded out of me. He was always so forgiving.

"it's okay, Harls. Everything is going to be fine. "

"im soo sorry, Embry… .I didnt mean to .. " Embry pulled me away form him and looked into my eyes.

"shh. I know. We know. " he kissed my foreahead beforing pulling me back into his arms.

**REVIEW AND SHOULD I CONTINUE?**


	2. Chapter 2

**THANK YOU FOR MY FIRST REVIEWER AND ALERTER , LupaaLove. HOPEFULLY NOT MY LAST. :0 **

Ever laid in your bed and just cried into your pillow? All those negative thoughts running through your head pushing you to a psychotic extinction? How the words that repeated themselves hurt much more than any physical fight you have ever been in. My pillow was soaked in my tears, my mascara wasted away from the salty water. My head was pounding with pain but I couldn't find anything in me to stop the sobs. I was just done. Seeing Quill was just the trigger. His words replayed in my head on repeat through the entire bonfire. I had to leave, I couldn't just sit there and pretend that I was happy and I was alright. I secretly hated myself, I hated what I had done. Remy was right, I changed into the person I said I would never be. I fell into the hands of a publicist that gave me things that I thought I wanted. But it wasn't what I wanted. I was a sellout. And that was all I will ever be.

I looked out my window and saw the stars shine bright. You never see them in the city with all it's lights. I hadn't seen them in awhile. I use to lay on the grass and look up at them all the time. It was something so simple but amazing to me. Every time the beauty of it stealing my breath.

I looked up at the old Barbie alarm clock on my dresser. It was 2:14 in the morning . My car keys shined in the dark light, and I knew I had to leave my room and distract myself.

I pulled on some black jeans, a black coat and a leopard scarf. Grabbed my purse and my guitar and tiptoed my way down my hall way. Making sure not to wake up mom and dad. Just as I hurried my way through the kitchen dad yelled.

"Don't be gone too long… "I turned around and saw him standing there with a cookie in his hand;

"Im just… "

"And im just eating a carrot. "He winked at me and made his way back to the room. My dad really was awesome. The garage was filled with cars. There was dad's black truck. Mom's small Honda Civic, my dumb sports car I never drove but bought just for the fuck of it. My brothers old cars and there, in the back covered in tarp was the old shit… everyone's first car. From Gloria, to my older brothers and to me. It was the oldest, beat up, pedophile van in the world. I pulled the tarp off and the dust practically suffocated my lungs. But the car still looked the same. Beat up and rusty. The smile never escaped my face when I touched the side door. The old dent from when we launched Quill into it with the human slingshot we built. It was a huge dent and Gloria flipped out. I hung up the car keys to my sports car and reached for the van's and hopped in. The seat was still cushioned , the petals lifted for my short stature. The fuzzy dice still hanging from the rear view mirror. To me, this was what I needed.

It drove like a brand new car straight out of the factory. The tank was already full , so to me this seemed like a sign. I was supposed to drive this car on this visit. The streets were empty, the small lights of every small store softly lit while I drove on the bumped road. My guitar in the next seat enjoying the ride. Nothing seemed to change .

* * *

My eyes burned from the dried tears. My head was still being a total bitch but somehow I was able to not be a total prissand keep driving. It wasn't till I drove up to the cliff that I backed up the car and opened up the back. Dad and mom had removed the old carpet and replaced it. All the old food stains gone. The window roof was replaced and the crack that ran across from it was gone. The pillows were no longer present and neither were the blankets. I upset , I had spent so many days in the back of the truck laying in it while Jake and the guys jumped off the damn cliff. I was to chicken to do it after I saw Quill break his arm. And with only the memory of his twisted arm I was able to stay away from it. So I stayed in the van watching them and writing songs.

I removed my coat and grabbed my guitar. It was never too late to practice old notes. So that's what I did for hours.

_For as I say this to you_

_Im hated by everyone_

_Even myself_

_But the smiles that they show_

_Still make me feel like I won_

_But behind it all_

_I feel so low and alone_

_Will I feel alright again?_

_Or is this a feeling ready to just begin._

I wrote down the lyrics as quickly as they came to me. I had spent all 3 hours writing one little song. A ballad that made me feel much better about my feelings.

It was already 6:45 in the morning and I was hungry. When wasn't I hungry? I closed the doors and drove the van towards the Diner. Every old man was already awake and eating Ms. Call's amazing food. I was going to be one of them.

The rain trickled down slowly while I hope doubt and walked inside. I sat myself down in a booth away from the business men talking about fishing and hunting. I unlocked my phone and saw my miscalls from Richie. And the texts I had gotten. I needed to remember to call him later.

"What will you…? "As soon as I looked up at Ms. Call's face her eyes lit up and a smile appeared.

"Harley! "She pretty much pulled me into a hug before shaking me furiously. The old men looked our way but went back to their business.

"Hey, Ms. Call. "

"Hey? That is all you have to say? "She laughed

"Well you did shake me up quite a bit? "

She laughed and nodded

"How you been? I heard you were in town and I didn't believe it. "

"Well, im here. So believe it. "

She laughed softly before she looked at me intently.

"How long are you here for? "

"Don't know, the festival really doesn't have a set date. "

"I hope you stay long. Maybe get a house here. Come by every so often. "

I shifted in my seat a bit. How do I tell her no nicely? This was the woman who cooked every hot meal I ate when I hung out with the guys. She was an extra mom for me.

"I don't know… "

"You should hang out with Embry! He has a shift today… In like 15 minutes actually. I hope that boy comes on time… 'She looked down at her old watch and out the window. Her face twisted in anger.

"Is something wrong? "

"no. no. nothings wrong. I just… I just wish he still had friends like you. You know, sincere… Non drug users… "

"Embry? My sweet Embry a drug user? _" I_ mean we had out time but marijuana isn't really a drug… is it? God im such a dumbass.

"I know it sounds silly, I raised my boy well for a single mother but as soon as you left he suddenly sprout up and got muscles like he's some sort of steroid loser. Then he sneaks out at night, he got angrier easier. Talked back… I don't know whets with him, Harley. "

Embry was the quietest and shy guy I ever met. He was the type that you'd meet and think he was a total dick but suddenly you'd hear him talk and fall in love with his calm rationality. He was a baby brother to me. He softened up our group in a non gay way. Quill was loud and stupid, Jacob was more of a serious joker type. I was some crazy girl who followed them as they went along. And Embry was our voice of reason. He hated stupid, he loved books, enjoyed watching the history channel with me and even had manners to not fart on me or better yet, in the same room as me.

"Well, I don't know. But if he's free I'll talk to him. "

"Thank you… the usual? " she asked

"Do you still remember? "

I smirked

"French toast with a double chocolate chip milkshake with peanut butter ? "

"Thanks… "

"Anytime." Mrs. Call smacked demy head softly with her notepad and walked to the back of the kitchen

I fuckin missed her French toast. They were always so crunchy on the outside but the inside was just like a cloud. So soft and amazingly good with the syrup. No other place could rival them. No 5 star chef could mimic them.

I sat there in my booth and looked at the 3 empty spots that once filled my friends. I had the window seat right across from Embry. Jacob sat next to me arguing with Quill. The typical hungry moments were brought here, all of us loud and obnoxious but Mrs. Call didn't mind. She loves having us here. We were a far cry from the older people that came.

My phone vibrate loudly kicking me away from my thought. Looking down at the white smart phone I saw Richie's name flash up along with his picture. His 5,000 dollar smile, the beautiful curly blonde hair and those deep blue eyes that had teenage girls swooning? Then the swimmer's body that launched his modeling gig 4 years ago. TO say he wasn't attractive way like committing a sin.

"Hey. "

"Hey babe! Where you been?" hearing his voice never had an effect on me until now. Richie was someone I could complain to. Someone to argue with. I couldn't nag about the band to the band so Richie was that for me. And he listened to it all. Took it all in and bought me something nice to make me feel better. It worked… For awhile.

"Sorry, I just got all caught up in my hometown. … "

His deep chuckle was all it took for me to relax.

"I bet you did… I miss you. "

"I miss you too. What are you doing up so early? "

"Im in L.A. it's the same time there as it is over here? "

"And you're up this early " I laughed. Richie was never awake this early

"Yeah I have a photo shoot for the new movie. "

"Oh. "

'When you coming back? "He asked

"I don't know…. "

"Oh… "The line fell silent. I didn't know if I missed his company or I missed my life back in L.A. where I was safe from all these judging eyes. Surprising right, with Hollywood watching me every minute I stepped out on L.A streets

"I have to get going, Cassidy Reeves is throwing a tantrum again! "

I rolled my eyes and understood. Cassidy Reeves was Hollywood's train wreck at the moment. And was barely getting by with directors around tinsel town.

"Alright, "

"Love you. … "His voice paused for a response. I could hear everything clearly now. Like some sort of Spiderman effect. The squeak of shoes from the guy 3 table's away. The small keyboard of the black berry near the bar, the old woman nagging her husband.

"Okay, miss you too. "My finger couldn't hit the end button sooner.

Love was always something I couldn't do. After the whole Jacob fiasco I always believed that he was the one for me. The only love I would ever cherish and have. So, all the men that entered my life were never lovers but boys that kept me away from being lonely. From being alone. When in all along I was always alone.

"You? Up this early? "Embry slid into the booth suddenly with my milkshake. Wearing a shirt for once and his old smile had returned.

"Up? I didn't go down… " I sheepishly said as I sipped on the cold beverage. While Embry's eyes opened up.

"You don't seem like you're cranky… "

"Shut up, I was never cranky. " I retorted

"Yupp, there it is. " He sat back and played with the salt shakers.

It was a fact that if I didn't get my nights sleeps i was, at some point, going to blow up and get cranky. It's a reason why during sleepovers, I was the only one sleeping and the boys stayed up playing videogames or whatever.

"What are you doing today, Em?"

He shrugged his huge shoulders.

"Work for a while then I usually go hangout with friends…"

"Friends? Quill? "

"Yeah, some of us hang out together at Sam's. "

I remember what Ms. Call had told me about him acting out.

"Your mom … "

"What did she tell you?" Embry sat back and crossed his arms across hischest.

"Look, I know I haven't been here and I shouldn't bring this up but steroids… "

"Im not doing steroids or drugs… I sneak out because I need to and sometimes she's so damn intrusive. "

Ms. Call was a bit 'annoying'. Always wanting to know every single bit of detail.

"Embry, I just … You've changed so much. "

"Yeah, but drugs and steroids? That's a bit much. "

The memory swept my mind and the giggle escaped me.

"What? "

"Remember that one time Quill thought it would be funny… " Embry's confused look soon turned around and he laughed softly

"Holy shit… I haven't thought of that day in so long… " he shook his head in disbelief.

Suddenly we both broke into laughter.

_FLASHBACK_

_I looked at the little white roll that was causing us to lose our common sense. Jacob put the tip in his mouth and took a hit. Then shook his head and coughed a little. _

"_Holy fuckin shit! " _

_My giggles erupted and I took the blunt from his hand and took a hit myself. _

"_See, even Harley is enjoying this! " Quill yelled_

"_Harley? " Embry seemed confused at my sudden enthusiasm for herbal drugs. But hey, I kind of always wanted to try. _

"_Im sorry Embry. But I… I… "Jacob hand made its way up the back of my shirt and I jumped._

"_Hey! " _

_Jacob just grinned at me like some Looney psycho. _

"_I feel great! " _

"_See, Even Jacob loosened up! " _

_The weed tired me down and I felt myself lay back into Jacob's arm. I looked up and saw the birds flying by. Quacking and flapping about. _

_Embry took the blunt and pressed it to his lips and inhaled. _

"_Good boy! " Quill crooned _

_Soon, we were all in the back of the van completely high off one small blunt. Laughing at stupid shit, at one point Jacob and I did end up making out in the front seat while Quill and Embry yelled at us to stop. _

_It was one of the first of many highs we had. Until Billy caught on. But that's another story. _

_End Flashback _

Our laughter died down and we looked into each others eyes. I felt myself sigh and shook my head. Embry didn't look like my Embry. The baby fat was gone, his skin no logner held a hint of blemish and he seemed totally in tuned with himself.

"what? "

"you've completely changed, Embry."

Embry smiled and nodded

"I know, puberty did us good. "

Us. Quill was also bigger. Embry was but Jacob? I hadn't seen him. Did I want to see him?

"What are you doing today? " He asked

"I don't know. Eat and just drive around. Maybe head to the store to pick up some pillows and blankets for the van. "

Embry only nodded his head until Ms. Call sat my plate down onto the table.

"You two sure have grown up. "She patted Embry's bulging shoulder and brushed her hand in my hair. Smiling down at both of us before leaving.

"Yeah. Grown up… "Embry winked at me before he too got up and left the table.

After I ate I said goodbye to Ms. Call and Embry and made my way to the closest store. I had found 2 blankets and a couple of pillows and threw them in the back of the van for later. I didn't care for the prices or the stares I got at the store, I just bought the stuff and left. I sat in the parking lot when I got the call. The band was meeting up to check up on the stage at First Beach. I was the first to arrived. By myself a is watched the men build the stage. Quill was helping out along with the guys that dragged him away yesterday. I stood there trying to not make eye contact. But I knew Quill was glaring at me. The guy had a glare that could kill when angry.

"You're early! " William jogged his way put to me and pulled me into a hug.

"I was around and had nothing to do. "

"Well, what do you think? " There stage wasn't big like the huge venues we did, nor was it small. It was perfect for just us as a band to rock out on.

"If it rains we have a highly strong water tarp to hold it on along with gutters to filter it. The lights will be down here and over there. ….."

The stage was built closely to the water.

"Where are the whole back production going? "

"We are going to bring in some sheds and put them over there. You guys will prepare there and make your way here. The only people around the stage will be my team and body guards…. "

"Awesome. "

I didn't care much. I just wanted to distract myself from Quill's stare.

"Hey, Harley! " Remy came up and pulled me into a huge hug. Lifting my feet off the ground and passing me to the guys one by one for the same hug.

"Finally, all of you guys are here. Harley here already knows the plans. "

"Overachieving again, Harley? " Tommy joked

"It's not that hard with you guys here. " I teased

"Alright… "

William's voice broke away as he explained to the guys a more detailed description of the stage. My eyes drifted away and I looked around the beach. I could barely see the top of the hill where the road lead to town. Right towards Billy Black's house. Jacob's home. Jacob. Where was Jacob?

"Im going to go … "

"Harley? " I ignored the guys and walked up towards the van. Ignoring any yell or scream. I had only one thing on my mind… Jacob.

* * *

It took a whole lot for me to just turn off the car. My hands were trembling and sweating from fear. My stomach was full of nerves that I honestly felt myself shit. What if Jacob was inside sitting and watching TV? Even worse, what if he was with his girlfriend … a very pretty girlfriend.

Why would I care, I moved on… I shouldn't care. It's his life. I havbe my own back in L.A .

I hopped out and walked towards the old porch. The red paint slowly chipping off the barn like house.

The door was still bigger then me. My boots dragged into the wood floors while I controlled my breath. My hand in a fist ready to knock on the window.

"Come on, Harley. Don't be a coward… "I closed my eyes tight and repeated my little saying.

"Don't be a coward… "

"You were never a coward… "The door opens up and in front of me Was Billy Black. The very man I really wanted to not answer the door.

"Im really good at acting. " I tried my best to not let my voice shake.

He softly chuckled at me.

"A rock star with acting abilities? Can you be the next Hannah Montana? Come on in… "

He wheeled himself out of the way and went towards his coach. The whole house hadn't changed. It was like I was here again 4 years ago.

I sat down across from Billy and listened to the old grandfather clock tick away. The pregnant pause truly killing me. What am I suppose to say?

"After you left… We had the whole house filled with pictures of you… He felt a bit more relaxed. Then you stopped calling. Stopped visting. We had to take everything down that reminded him of you… "

Wow, whey to start that off Billy. My stomach churned and it felt like it was on its way up my throat. I swallowed back the big ball of saliva and nodded

"I didn't mean to hurt him, Billy. It was never my intention. " I looked down at my wet boots.

"Then why do it? Why act like everything was alright then just stop calling? "I looked up to the boy's father. His eyes were truly looking for an answer.

"I don't know. " I shook my head and blinked several times to hold back the water gates.

"I… he changed… so much .you know how hard it was for me to see him be completely happy one day and the next he's staying up all night wondering if you would call , if you were with someone else… he gave it all for you to just throw it away. "

"Billy. … "

He held his hand up and shook his head

"We might not have Grammy's or money but we were here before anyone else was. We treated you like family and you just gave it all away. "

"I didn't give it away though… You think it was easy for me? You look at it on your side but you don't see what I went through… "My voice had gotten louder and Billy sat up. His eyes clear and watching me intently.

"I was thrown into something I always wanted. … And I didn't know where it was going to take me. I love Jacob… Every day I thought of him, thought of his smile, his voice… It was the only thing that kept me calm before every show. The last time I was here we… We had the best time ever. I was so glad to have him by my side. .. "

Billy's hand patted my knee.

"Go on… "

"I couldn't rely on him like that forever. I finally saw how important he was to me. It scared me…. I thought I was too young for something so serious. I saw how other people who were in my position would slowly breakaway form their on boyfriends and I broke. I didn't want one of us to mess something up because we were miles away. So I cut off the ties. The longer I didn't talk to him the better I got about depending on only myself. The calls were longer apart and I was feeling much better. I was like a crack addict getting better. And I knew what I was doing was horrible… I didn't even call to tell him but it's because I was ashamed. I was already half way through when I realized how much of a bitch I was! "

I did it all selfishly. For my own good and I tumbled down another. I tumbled down the boy that gave up his own happiness for mine.

I looked down and let the tears roll out of my eyes.

"I avoided anything that reminder of him. You know how many episodes of how I met your mother I missed? I can't watch Monica and Chandler have a conversation without crying, finding Nemo is not the same without him sitting next to me speaking whale while I eat butt loads of recess butter cups.… "

I was deranged and losing it in my ex-boyfriends house. In front of his father who now looked like he pitied me.

I ran my hands through my hair as I controlled my sobs.

"We both should've been more mature about this… But I do have wished you would've done all this differently. But now I understand and I don't blame you. I could never blame you. "

"But you hate me right? Even I hate me. "

"Harley… None of us could ever hate you. As much as we wanted to, we couldn't "he laughed

Even I had to chuckle

" Im too adorable to hate. "

He looked at me oddly and for the first time gave me a sincere smile.

"Im glad you're back. "

* * *

"This one time Russell Crow walked by and Tommy just threw up all over his shoes! "

Billy laughed hysterically while he poured the hot chocolate into our mugs.

"We watched the music awards one year and we loved your acceptation speech… we were in hysterics! "

"It was Remy's idea! "

I had spent the whole day with Billy. We talked about every thing we could without mentioning the one thing that connected us. Jacob.

"You guys are doing great. You make us all proud. "

"We're glad. "

I looked down at my phone and saw it was 9 pm already.

"I should get going. Dinner would be done soon and mom hates when im late. "

"Yeah, long road to drive. " Billy joked

"You want to come over, Billy? Have an old family get-together. "

"Well, if you're asking… "

"Great, I will go grab your coat. The back closet? "

"Yeah… "I stood up and ran to the back of the house. As I walked towards the closet I noticed the brown door on the left. Jacobs's room. With all the car stickers on it.

I looked down the hall and thought for a bit. It wouldn't hurt to see.

My hand touched the familiar knob and swung it open.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Do you believe in soul mates? '" _

_I turned my head to look at Jacob. _

"_I don't know… Why? " _

"_I think you're my soul mate. " _

_The giggle escaped my mouth as I sat up and looked at the boy straight in the eye_

"_Me, your soul mate? What the hell did I do to deserve this type of punishment? "I pushed him back up against his head board smirking. His long hair a mess after the nap we had just took._

"_You made me fall in love… that's what you did. " His lips puckered up and I laughed _

"_I make a lot of people fall in love with me. " The small peck I gave him had both our stomachs fluttering. _

"_Yeah but for me you're much more then the love of my life… you're my best friend, my enemy my number 1 hater… " _

"_But those suspenders were so ugly! " I interrupted _

"_Number 1 hater, baby! " He cheered _

"_You want to know what you are to me? "_

"_What? " _

"_You're first and foremost my best friend. But you're also the only person in this entire world I can talk to and not be ashamed to. " _

"_So, im your doctor Phil? " My hand whacked him as fast as you could say idiot. He chuckled into our soft kiss. _

"_If your doctor Phil can I be your Nancy Grace? " _

"Where is he? " I sat on his bed and was glad he hadn't changed it. It was so small that even at 14 he didn't fit in it. But somehow he managed to sleep softly on it every night.

I looked up at Billy who gave me a sad smile from the door way

"He went away for awhile. To Seattle with some relatives. Felt like he needed some time. "I nodded and stood up.

"We should get going. "

I spent the next couple of days at home. With my mom and dad. The occasional house guest. Embry stopped by loads of times. We sat in my room and talked about everything. His new life and how he wasn't sure if going to school out of state was possible. I never understood why but he just kept saying it was complicated. I didn't push it. Mom and dad were happy to have me home, each one of them talking me into moving back home after. I told them I would think of it. And at the current rate I was going kind of made me believe it. Being here, after my talk with Billy did clear up a lot of things. I didn't see Jacob, but it was okay. I wasn't ready. Will I ever be? Maybe not.

"Harley? "Mom knocked softly on my door. Her hazel eyes looking me over.

"Yeah? "

"Embry's here… "

"Send him up… "Mom nodded and walked downstairs.

I was currently writing tons of music. Which was good for 2 things? I could write an album faster and my feelings were fixing themselves. Leaving me with a much clearer mind.

_Being home would never be the same_

_But I still walk the road_

_Thinking_

_What the hell do I say?_

_Old friends, old lie,_

_New life and new goodbyes._

"Well, am I in the middle of a Grammy award winning song writing session? "

I smiled up at Embry and threw my guitar on my bed.

"Emmy! "

I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Inhaling his body spray in.

"You haven't called me Emmy in so long… "

I stood back and thought back to the last time I called him Emmy.

"God, I haven't, have I? "

He shook his head and walked around my room.

"Still the same. "

"Yeah, nothings really changed. I like it. ….. "

"What are you doing here, Em? "

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? "

"You're not going to hang out with your friends? " it was surprising when he wasn't with them

"Nah, they don't have music awards. "He winked at me

My relationship with Embry was never flirtatious, never nothing more then a friendship. As I said, he was like a sweet innocent brother.

"Okay. Umm what you want to do? "

"I don't know. "He shrugged his shoulders and sat down on my bed.

"Alright, well let's go. Im really in the need of a apple pie… "

I grabbed one of my hoodie and my purse and pulled Embry up.

"Lets go, fuck face. Mom, im going out. Be back soon or txt me! "

"Alright! Be safe! "

I walked into the garage and picked up the vans keys when Embry froze.

"You have… why I haven't… "

He touched the black sports car softly then brought his hand to his lips.

"Oh, yeah. I bought him a while ago. But I haven't used him… "

"Can we? "

"You want to drive him? "He nodded his head happily while I grabbed the keys.

"Alright but don't scratch him, he's going back to the dealer soon, "

"What, why? "

He looked at me like I was some sort of crazy person.

"Well, I don't need it. I have no use to something like this. Sure it's beautiful and fast….. "

Maybe I should reconsider.

"After today you won't want to. "We hopped into the 2 seated car and Embry turned it on. The engine purred like a furious kitten. His eyes were big as saucers and filled with joy. Like a child just seeing Santa for the first time.

"There's drool coming down from my chin, isn't there? "He asked

"No, im more concerned for the boner in your pants. "The soft blush on his checks hued up while he reversed the car and began driving it down the road.

"Holy shit, the drive is so smooth, it purrs like a kitten and the turns… Jake would love this car! "

Jake… Jacob…

"Im… Im sorry. I didn't mean to… "

"It's okay. You could talk about him. It's not like he hurt me! " I joked

"Yeah… "

* * *

"Do you not care that there are like 50 people waiting for you outside? '

I looked out the window and saw the young teen girls watching me and waving like maniacs.

"Nah, they usually leave me alone until im done eating. Are you bothered by this? "

I was use to it, the cameras and the crowds of people following us as a band. . To me it was an ordinary thing. But to Embry. He looked terrified. Luckily Deputy Daniels was there to shoo them away so we could go inside the old bakery.

"Umm, not bothered but weirded out… You use to love your space. "

"Use to? I still do. This comes with the package. And if im happy living my dream then I happy with them waiting for me after every meal. "

"Are you happy? "

I bit into the warm pie crust and thought for awhile.

"You know, I am when im on stage or with the band backstage. Because just for thoss moments it's like nothing has changed. The crowds just got bigger but we all are just the same kids from Forks… "

"You know, I was sure if I should hang out with you. Quill is still on the edge about you just coming in. then we heard you and Billy were hanging out and he was even more… "

"Pissed? "

"Yeah. But after awhile I missed us… I missed our friendships. And not just you, me, Jacob and quill but you and I. Sometimes I can't talk to Quill about girls… "

"What about Jacob? I know he has a soft side. . ."

Jacob was one of the best types of guys out there. He always listened and didn't really care for what you needed to talk about. He was there for you.

"He's been too busy… "

"Well, Im here now. And after all this is done I promise I won't let us drift away. "

Embry was really all I had left from home. My other relationships were burned down. And I understood what he was saying. Embry and I had lots in common, emotionally.

* * *

"Wait, so you're telling me that you can rent out these dresses you wear! " Emily and Kim were both sweet girls.

"Yeah, sometimes the dresses are so expensive that all you can do is rent them. "

"Kim, get looking for some Vera Wang! "

Emily was obviously engaged and looking for a wedding dress. Kim was her maid of honor after Leah turned the role down.

"On it, boss. "

We all had gathered at Billy Black's house for a small house dinner. The band was here, Embry and his mom were here, he council and their families. The small house was packed with people.

"Hey. " Embry whispered in my ear making me jump up.

"Fuck… Next time don't scare me. "

"Sorry… "His rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at me.

"Quill wouldn't come. He was pissed when I mentioned you were coming. "

"I told you, don't force anything between us. He's obviously pissed. "

And I understood why. Well, kind of. I left and broke his befriends heart. I looked like a total bitch because of it.

"I know but, it's been so long Harley. He needs to get over it. Jacob's out of the picture and you're back. We waited for this moment for so long. For you to return so we could be the 4 amigos again! But the moment you return he throws his tails between his legs. "

"You know Quill, says one thing and … "

"Does another… " One of the tall men said

"Harley, this is Paul. He's a friend of ours. "

I shook the big man's hand and wondered where I had seen him before.

"And your savior. "

"Yeah, thanks about that. " Why the hell did these guys have such warm body temperatures? Or way is just that cold hearted.

"No problem. Any time, as long as I get to beat the shit out of the guy , im all good. "

"Paul here likes to fight. So, keep away, he's known for a temper. "Paul smirked like it was some amazing thing he accomplishes.

"Hey, Jared is looking for you Paul. Says something about some cards in the car. "Leah walked put to us holding the red cup in her hand like it was a martini glass. The girl had class.

"Aright, well I will see you guys later. Please seeing you again, Harley. "Paul lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. Winking at me before running off.

"You have no idea, right? " Embry asked

"No, should I? "

He shrugged and walked away.

"Should I! " Embry ran out the door and I dropped the cookie onto the paper plate and followed Him.

I couldn't help but laugh when I would catch up to him and he would speed up.

"Your such an ass, Embry! " I finally stopped and breathed in heavily. I was so out of shape.

"You can't even catch my ass, Harley! " He wiggled his small ass at me and turned around.

"Don't call me Harley, Embryo! "

"God, that name is gross! I can even feel the hate I had for you when I was 8! "

Embryo was funny and very intelligent word for us in the 3rd grade. We had the whole class calling Embry, Embryo. Much to his disappointment.

His turned his back to me and looked at the pushing waves.

I ran towards him and jumped up but his huge body completely.

"Im too fast now, Harley! " I shook the hand away from my face and hair and looked up at Embry.

"It was much easier before puberty. " Embry chuckled an through himself down next to me. The sky was as always beautiful. The dark gray clouds covering the dark blue sky and stars. Leaving only the thundering waves and the small breaths I took.

For the first time I was home I felt comfortable. Like I was back in my old routine. Genuinely back. Embry made me laugh and enjoy every minute with him. Sometime is feel like Quill and Jake were missing but I knew those friendships were lost. And never were going to be found.

"Embry … "I turned my head to look at my best friend

"Yeah? " His facial features ere smooth and looked relaxed for the first time since eye arrived.

"Thanks… "

"For what? "

My heart was on a line. A very thin line and I could feel the emotionally girly Side of me just want to cry.

"For forgiving me. "

Embry's smile was very sincere. Before he could answer I felt a tall cloud come over us.

"Are you fuckin kidding me! " Embry was gone and up in a second.

"Quill, back off! "

'How dare you fuckin let her do this to you man! She's back to her old ways! " Embry pushed Quill back. But quill wasnt having any of it. Like an animal he growled at Embry and tried to push him to the side. Glaring at me

"Old ways? "

"Like you doen't fuckin know! " He was spitting every word he said.

"No, I doen't fuckin know, Quill! " Alright, I understand if he was angry but why does he over react. I had enough of Quill just saying shit and acting like I was the bad guy. Sure I didn't have the best record but… I think it was time to move on. So, I grew balls. Very big ones because before I knew it I was being pulled back by some tough arm.

"Calm your shit, Har! " Paul whispered in my ear. I wish I could say I made him put up a fight but I really didn't. He just held on like a macho man and let me dangle around.

"You ruined everything! You left us, you forgot us! Because of you everything is fucked up! Jacob can't even watch TV or listen to the radio without thinking of you! You know you ruined all of our friendships! Not just his and yours but ours? "He pointed to him and Embry's.

"I never forgot you Quill! None of you! You think I would forget you guys! "Quill stopped and pushed Embry aside.

"You acted like you did! " He yelled

"See, I acted… " I stopped clawing at Paul's arm and looked at Quill.

"I didn't know what I was doing. I know that I was wrong. But I can't be apologizing all the time. I know… I know… "

Quill shook his head and looked away form me.

"Good. Because I feel much better knowing that you know you're a bad person " Quill ran past Embry and towards the forest.

**GONNA LEAVE IT THERE FOR NOW. AND I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE WILL HAVE MORE JACOB. HE ACTUALLY MAKES HIS RETURN. OHHH. READ AND REVIEW. ****J**


	3. Chapter 3

**THANK YOU **_GUEST_** FOR REVIEWING. YOU ARE TURLY AMAZING AND I THANK YOU. THIS ONE IF FOR YOU. **

It like I had my emotions drained out of me. I didn't really know what to do now. I expected it to happen at some point but not at this moment. But for the most part I didn't care. I think I was done with it all. The apologizing, the feeling guilty. Sure it sucked and I was some what embarrassed but I was done. I don't want the bullshit anymore. Im fuckin performing in front of my town and if you don't like it don't buy a ticket.

And though, all the words that came out my mouth and erupted in my mind, I found the small once of care. And I hated myself for it. I didn't want to care, I could move on but when you love something so much and hurt it, you can never really forget it.

I looked out my window and saw the raindrops race themselves down.

_FLASHBACK _

"_Jump out, you pussy! " _

"_Shut up! My mom will wake up! "Quill sat up on his window looking down at Jacob, Embry and I. _

"_If you don't hurry the whole Rez will… " _

"_Alright, alright I get it. But it's hard! Im on the second story! That's a couple feet up off the ground! " _

"_We can tell. " Embry held the Umbrella over his head while looking up at a terrified Quill. _

"_Shut up… Alright. Here I go. "Quill closed his eyes and scooted more to the edge. _

"_Jump! " Jacob egged. _

"_I don't think I can do it. You guys go off! " _

"_We've done this billion of times, Quill! " _

"_We did this last month. " I joined in_

_Every full moon the waves would get bigger .which had us in our swim suits in 30 degree water and seeing who could last the longest. Jacob so far held the record for 2 minutes while I held the record for a dipped toe and that's about it. But most of all we would all grab 2 kayaks from old man Fray's shed and ship out to James Island. It was a long, horrific trip but making it was worth it. There was a cave, and in that cave were small things we would bring over the years. Back packs filled with blankets and towels. A small battery powered radio with candles and flashlights. We would bring a sack of snacks and look for wood and start a fire until the sun came up. Right around dawn the whales would come up for air and we would all sit there and watch. Lightly laughing at something Quill said. _

_It was like some tradition. _

_. Quill jumped off and fell into the bush. _

_It was funny at first but after while it got annoying. _

"_You two help him out. Im cold!" I quickly handed the Barbie flashlight to Jacob and walked back to the van. _

"_Thanks… " _

**CLICK**

I sat up and looked out my window again. Did I just see a rock bang against it? I crawled over my bed to the window and looked out. The full moon was on. I opened my window and looked out.

Then suddenly a head popped up sending me off my bed and to the ground. A warm hand over my mouth while I began to fight back frantically. I think I pissed myself.

"Shut up… It's me. Quill. "I pushed off the heavy body and looked at Quill. He really was here, and practically naked. Was this his way of murdering me?

"What are you doing here…? "

"It's a full moon tonight. I think it's time for us to go if we want to make it on time. "His old smile was back. But the curve at the end of his lips looked forced.

"Your not going to murder me, right? " I asked

"I should. You really are a bitch but… " He shrugged his shoulder and sat on my dresser.

"Im a hypocrite. I went home and completely bad mouthed you to everyone that I crossed paths with. But as soon as I sat down and thought back, I remembered everything. When things weren't so complicated. When our lives didn't change so drastically. " He looked down at me. A growl erupting out of him.

"I hate you, so fuckin much. …But I want to laugh with you. Make fun of Embry with you. I want to be friends again and I hate it. I practiced for years what I would say to you and yesterday you only got the basics…. When you love something and it hurts you and your friends… its easy to say you hate that person. But its hard to say you will never want them in your life again. I want our lives to rewind 4 years and just stay like that. No rock star life, no… our lives. Just normal fucked up lives of us getting high and eating all your food. That's what I want. "

"I … I. ok. Okay im down. "I looked up at his face and smiled

"I still hate you…. But I love you, nonetheless. "

"I never will hate you, Quill. I don't hate anybody but myself. I guess im on Team Quill as well. "

"Well, that's nice. " He joked

"We'll work on you not hating me?"

"Yeah, baby steps. As long as you don't pull some crazy shit anymore. "

"Truce? " I spit into my hand and held it out. Quill chuckled at it and followed suit. He spit into his palm and shook my hand. The mushy wet gooey saliva coating my fingers.

"Now I remember why I just ignored our fights… "Quill wiped his hand on his cut off shorts and stood up.

"Yeah, this is kind of gross. Aren't you cold? "

"Nah, I'm good. But hurry. Get your stuff. We have to go pick up Em. "

* * *

"Wow, can you believe it? " Embry sighed

"Believe what? That we are all here? "

"We're not all here. We're still missing Jacob. "Quill threw his wrapper on the floor and gazed out towards the water. The sparkly dark blue calming down from the small storm we hid out from.

"Where is he any way? " I sipped on the Capri Sun and looked up at the two boys next to me. All 3 of us in matching black wet suits.

"He's out there… looking for answers. " Quill wrapped an arm around me and sighed.

"The guy's lost. Not really sure what to do now that Bella Swan left for her prissy boyfriend. "

"Bella Swan? " Who was this bird bitch?

"Yeah, after you left Jacob needed some sort of distraction and the girl moved here months after you left. So. She was his outlet. "He explained. Ever been his in the gut so hard that you feel like throwing up last weeks lunch? Then all you want to do is punch a wall and cry? Yupp. I shouldn't.

"She is really awkward. " Embry cut in

"And some sort of pretty. If you ask me he downgraded. " I laughed a little but im sure the sudden jealousy appeared. A new girl just taking over? Who was this girl and where do I find her to beat the crap out of her. Well, it was my fault. He did deserve someone better.

"Thanks… I guess. "

"So, how is it? The traveling? "Quill asked.

Even after the talk there was less tension between us. We didn't act like friends , but we weren't enemies. Like two people who have classes together and one day they get stuck on a project together. We forced ourselves to get along.

"it's amazing. Seeing all the different cities and countries is beautiful. Sometimes i wish I took you guys with me. "

"well, now that I forgave you for being a total spoiled brat… I'll get my passport. "

I punched Quill's shoulder and leaned into Embry's arm.

"what about you, Em? You think you can go to at least one trip with me? "

"Anytime, any day, im okay with leaving this boring town for awhile. "

* * *

"_Hit the stage like rock star, the head to the bar like they know who you are. Everybody is gonna see what were about to be. .. " _

I stopped singing when the huge crash sounded off. I looked back at Remy who was on the ground laughing with his drums all over him.

"Are you okay, Rem? "

"Yeah, im good. "The guys pulled him out of the water while I grabbed the drums and threw them on to the newly built stage.

"Are they damaged? "

"No, just wet. "

"That's what she said! " Dylan joked

I rolled my eyes at Dylan and couldn't help but laugh.

"Your such an idiot. "

"You guys alright? "Sam jumped up and looked over Remy.

"Yeah. I set the drums wrong and somehow fell back… "Remy rubbed his head and blushed.

"you know what, lets make it longer that way it wont happen again. "

"No, no… " Remy insisted

"Nah, don't worry about it. Paul, Jared! "

"So, what? Rehearsal is over? "

"Yeah, postponed until tomorrow. "That's all I ever needed. I jumped off the stage and grabbed my bag that was on the ground.

"Where you going! " Xavier yelled

"I have to give Billy his medication! "

I had picked it up this early when he called and asked me. Anything he'd ask I'd do, somehow I felt better when I helped. My bare feet dug into the sand as I ran across the beach and up the small hill. In a hurry I pulled out my slip on black shoes and hopped my way towards Billy's small house.

I marched in from the back and pulled open the door like it was nothing. To me, Billy's house was a second home.

"Billy? I brought your medication… "I didn't hear a reply so I reached for the bottle in my bag and walked towards the living room. Usually he would wheel himself out and greet me. What was up…?

"What are you doing here? "

The voice… The deep husky voice that would talk to me as I fell asleep. The one I had nightmares and dreams about. The only regret I had ever heard of.

"Jacob?"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE? ? "I turned around and saw him walking towards me down the hall. His black figure just a shadow. He was bigger then I remember. Taller and more built. Definitely bigger them Embry and Quill. I felt my fear creep in as he raised his voice. My breathing was loud. Like I had just ran a marathon. My heart must have been exploding out of my chest.

"I came to drop off your dad's medication …. "

"NO, why are you in La Push. "

The word s couldn't come out of me faster/.

"A music festival … "

He laughed deeply before pushing me up against the wall. His heavy build squishing me. I closed my eyes and looked down. Praying to god I didn't die. What type of lifetime movie would this be? Girl comes back to hometown after making it big but doesn't perform for her town cause ex-boyfriend breaks her neck.

"You think I believe that! " He spat . His hot breath buried itself inside my pores and I tried to turn away.

"Get off of her! " I felt the tug around my waist that almost brought me down but Seth pulled me up before I could fall.

"You okay? " He asked

I nodded my head and looked down at the 3 boys on the ground. It was like my mind erased the grown boys my best friends came to be and replaced them with their younger selves. But after my realizing they weren't playing around I saw the real truth behind it all .They were holding down Jacob on purpose.

"Let go of me! "He roared

"No, you'll hurt her. " Embry and Quill were no match for Jacob. He looked enraged and tried to wiggle them off him.

"She deserves it! After everything she put me through. And continues to do so. She's nothing but a selfish bitch…. "

The words hurt. My stomach jumped and the tears magically appeared in my eyes. The pain in my chest was sharp. Like a thousand little knives were stabbing it. Ever run into cold water and feel your feet prickle with pain that you cry. Its not something you can shake off. You have to deal with the pain and hope it goes away soon. Only I wasn't sure if it was. Because at that moment I felt myself get dizzy. My vision blurred and Seth's warm arms carry me up into the cold air.

* * *

My leg was hurting. My chest was stiff and my eyes were hot. The scorching headache wasn't a friend either.

I looked up and whipped the saliva from my dry mouth. I was in my room with the blinds closed and the TV on. The soft talk of the reality TV idiots partying and the loud snoring that shook my bed. I turned my head and found Embry sleeping beside me. His body spread out on my bed.

I sat up and almost tripped on the bucket on the floor. And from the smell of it, I threw up. Yeah, I know my vomit smell and that's definitely it. I scratched my head and felt the gross contents in it. Next time I'll get my hair up before I decided to vomit.

Embry didn't flinch once my body was up.

I remembered the incident. With Jacob.

"_She's nothing but a selfish bitch…. " _

I flinched with the thought. His voice kept repeating it in my head. It's all I could hear.

I grabbed a towel and some clothes and walked into my bathroom.

I washed every part of my body clean. I doubled the shampoo intake. Hopefully removing every chunk of vomit form my hair. The water raced down my skin and over my lips.

"_Come on, don't be a pansy! " I cheered_

"_Me, a pansy? Your so delirious! " _

_I ran around on the street in the year while Jacob sat under my porch. Completely dry and warm. _

"_I love it! " I would yell_

"_It rains almost every day… "He pointed out _

"_Doesn't mean you shouldn't be thankful for it… " _

_I danced in the rain as it got harder. I ignored the weird stares from the people walking by. They could think I was crazy but I didn't care. It felt so nice. _

"_Don't dance without me. " His rough hands grabbed mine. His body pulling mine into him. Both our eyes locked into one another as he softly swayed us. _

_His lips touched mine softly before pulling away. Our feet brushing against the road as he took the lead. The rain brushing down my lips, removing the warmth of his gentle kiss. _

"_Never… "_

"Hey, you think I can sneak in and pee? " I looked out the corner of my shower curtain and saw Embry rub his eyes at the door

"Yah just make it quick. " His loud foot steps pressed on the tile floor. Then the small click of the lift toilet. Then the waterfall.

I washed my hair and wondered if I should ask him what happened. No, I was completely embarrassed. Who else knew? Where Jacob was now, why was Embry in my bed.

"Holy fuckin shit! "The water turned cold and I knew it was Embry's doing.

"Maybe this will wake you up. " Embry chuckled

"Yeah, like I need this. Hand me the towel. "I watched the last pools of water circle down the drain and Embry's tan hand appear in front of me holding the brown towel.

'Thanks. "I wrapped it around me before walking out. Embry was applying a moisturizer on his face.

"You look dead. "

"Do I? "

I was always dead but now my inside matched my outside. I had the darkest bags under my eyes. My eyes were an ideal model for an eye drop commercial. My skin looked yellowish and my lips were horribly chapped.

"Wow… "

"Yeah… here." He slipped out the small green tube and looked down at me.

"Pucker up. "

I didn't do it. I felt ugly and horrible. Like a selfish brat.

"Now now, listen to me. "He grabbed my chin and pulled my cheeks together. Somehow getting my lips in a pout and applying the green apple chap stick.

"See, good as new. "He smiled

"I feel like shit. "

"Mom dropped off breakfast this morning .you have to eat. "

"Im really not hungry. "

"You threw up 40 percent of your body weight. You have to eat. I'll get it while you change. Maybe throw on some makeup… fix this mess" he motioned over my face and cringed.

I groaned loudly while he laughed his way out. I grabbed the first pair of underwear, and an old t-shirt and sweatpants. I walked towards my bed and dug my body under the piles of blankets. I only peaked out to watch Snooki get arrested.

I just wanted to lie here and die. Can we arrange that god?

"Alright, madam… lets eat. "

"Im not hungry. "

"You're eating. "He hopped on the bed and pulled the covers off me easily.

"Leave me alone. "

Wasn't I just a ray of sunshine?

"Nope, you need to come out some time. "

"Why cant I just stay here. I will quit the band and live with mom and dad forever. I got enough money to last me. "

"No you're being silly. …..He wouldn't want you to quit. " HE. He doesn't care if im alive. Wait, he does. Because he wants me dead

"He also wants me to stop breathing, Embry. "

"But I bet deep , deep down inside he's happy you got your dream. He was after you left. "

"What happened after? " Dare I ask?

"Seth brought you home, Embry and I had to sort him out. Lets just say Billy needs a new coffee table and possibly a new door. "

"What door? "

"Well doors. Jacob ripped them all off in a rage. "

"Im so fuckin stupid. " I screamed into the purple pillow and threw myself back.

"Yupp. "

"What do I do now.?" I asked

"I say avoid him. Its for the best. "

"Okay. You'll help right?" I looked up at Embry. A soft reassuring smile on his face.

"Yeah, I kind of don't want to be thrown at a door again. "

**Q.P.O.V**

"And she has the fuckin nerve! "

"Jacob… " I watched my best friend bang his head against the tree. The small bits and pieces of his skin peeling off. The streams of blood slowly dripping down. You would think he's already gone see a psychiatrist by now but..

"I cant fuckin… Uhh. " before I could protest and stop him form hurting nature. It was too late. Jacob had ripped the tree down to the ground.

Those 5 dollars I donated to the rainforest weren't going to the rainforest. But they were going to the council if Jake keeps this up.

"You need to relax. "

"How can I relax when she's here? When she was in MY own house. " he screamed and shouted more then a girl at a Justin Beiber concert.

"You cant blame her for being… "

"Its dad's fault too. He let her think it was okay to show up like nothing happen. You know how different life would've been if she didn't leave… how none of what I …"

"Jake, I think that every day. "

"We wouldn't be in this mess. " he quieted down

"You don't know that."

"No ,I don't. But I know it would've saved me so much heartache. So much insecurity or nights of sleep." here he goes again.

"Your talking about Bella right? "

"Yeah, how can I not. She's on my mind 24/7. " and it was sick to say she was.

I shook my head

"She's not worth it Jake. "His head snapped up at me.

"And Harley is? "

"I never said that. "

"But you implied it. "

Where was he getting this shit from? I never brought her up. He did.

"I didn't imply anything. Did you? "

I knew Jake well and the pause was too well known. He didn't want to admit I was right.

"I want NOTHING to do with HER. I moved ON. "

I looked down at my feet and tried to bite my tongue. The thoughts in my mind were racing like crazy. I had no idea what I was about to say but it seemed right.

"If you moved on then why did you bring her up? I never said Harley was worth it but you brought her up. Seems to me your trying to convince yourself you don't love her. "

"I LOVED her, past tense. My only feelings for her are anger …. "

"And jealously. " I finished. His eyes got dark as he towered over me.

"You wouldn't know anything… "

"I know you well to realize that your still hurting. And not about Bella but Harley. Bella is just a distraction. A small little play thing you convinced yourself you loved when in the back of your little mind you know she will NEVER replace Harley. "

"SHUT UP. "

"Bella will NEVER love you. NEVER. If she did she wouldn't have…. "

The pain rushed through my faster then you can say bloody nose.

"Go back to your little rock star, Quill. "

**J.P.O.V**

I didn't love her. I loved her before she ruined everything. Ruined me completely.

And how come it was so easy for everyone else to enjoy her being here. Did they not feel abandon.

I walked back into the house and noticed dad and Sam sitting on the sofa. Both their eyes locked on me.

"We need to talk, Jacob. "

"About? Arranged a marriage for me and your little rock star? "

"I don't think I want Harley to marry an idiot like you for the rest of her life. " he spat

"Oh great, im glad you decide to defend her and NOT your own son. "

"Its not like that Jacob. And I thought you moved on. You said you did. "

I growled and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"I did. "

"4 doors don't say so. "

"Why does it matter? " I shrugged

"You almost lost your cool Jacob. "

"And? "

"She doesn't know. If she would've found out we could've been seen. "

"What's the worse she can do? Write a song about it? I'll kill her before she did anything like that. "The words were disgusting in my mouth. Did I really just… I felt my head spin.

"Jacob? "

Before I knew it I was sitting on the couch.

"You dizzy Jacob? "

"Yeah… "Dad and Sam looked at each other for a second.

"You over re… "

"Look, I should be able to overreact. I deserve it all. What do you think I feel? After another girl rips my heart out and then to come home to the first girl who ever made you feel invincible. But she too broke your heart after realizing she had a better life somewhere else without you. Then for her to never call or visit anyone for 4 fuckin years and the day she comes back everyone accepts her like she's the god damn pope. "

"JACOB! "

"No Sam! I not only feel betrayed from Harley, but I feel betrayed by my friends and my family….."

"Jacob…. "

"Don't…. I don't want to hear it. You do what you want to do, dad. Im done with this talk now. "

"She's going to be here for a couple of weeks. The best to do is avoid her. " dad finally spoke softly.

"Good. It's fine with me.

I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. The tears spilling out either way. I hadn't heard from dad all day since this morning. Now it was 3 am and I had yet to fall asleep. My stomach was in fits; my eyes were burning from hell. I was a complete mess.

I had always loved her. Always. You never forget your first love. you never forget your best friend. She was my everything up until he day she left. Then she wasn't mine, she was a puppet for Hollywood. And I was just the loser ex-boyfriend at home. And what sucks about it, is that I let it happen. I let her slip away.

I wasn't man enough to fight for the beauty that I loved; I was a coward, a poor filthy coward not capable of taking care of her. It's the right thing to do. To let her go and live her life like she worked for. I stayed d back and watched. I never really told Quill but every award she won I watched her receive it. I saw her music videos every chance I got. I had a secret play list on my ipod just for her songs. I knew I wouldn't kiss her. Or touch her. Or even see her up close. But I'd listen. And that was enough. Just to listen to her beautiful voice. Just to relive those days.

Im sure I wasn't the only one who did that. Laid on the bed and played a song and suddenly it all came back. Those memories attached onto the song. You sit there with a goofy smile on your face and realize how perfect it was. How she was for you. I promised myself I would win her back when she returned. We'd resume our lives but then Bella came along. And she made me forget about Harley for awhile. So , I stayed hooked. Much to what Bella was doing to me, I did the same. I used Bella to curb my feelings for Harley. I worked hard to get Bella to love me, but soon it got old. It wasn't the same so I had to convince myself this was better. Bella was good. My emotions were invested when Bella choose Edward. It was then I knew what this meant. A sign that I was wrong. That I had to fight for my girl but I didn't want to. I Hated Harley, I hated her for leaving me here all alone and playing with my feelings. Making me force my emotions on another girl who crushed me like a bug. I was a door mat of life. And I enjoyed it.

Seeing her pissed me off. So unexpected and out of the blew. I wanted to crush her. Look into her eyes and tell her I hated her. But she never looked my way. She was scared and her heartbeat was racing. I could smell the fear off the small girl I once loved. But once Embry pulled me off and Seth carried her away I knew this was trouble.

What would my life be like if she didn't left? If I asked her to stay with me.

Would we be together, would the wolf gene ever step in?

My life didn't seem that complicated after I cried. Look at that, a grown man wolf crying. That's great, im a pansy now. A great big cry baby.

But it's true. Now that I looked at it I shouldn't be mad but I am. Am I mad at her or mad at me? Both.

I don't know how I will deal with this. I punched Quill In the face for even mentioning it. But he was right. I wanted her back, I wanted those memories back but then I didn't. I still hated her more then anything in this world. Can you hate someone you love, guys? Is it possible for that?

I let out a breath and shook out my thoughts.

"I don't need this… I never needed this. "

**I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I ENJOYED WRITING THIS CHAPTER. I TIHNK IT WAS JACOB'S PART THAT REALLY GOT TO ME. I GUESS I ALSO HAVE SOME UNANSWERED FEELINGS. **

**THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE THAT REVIEWS AND ALERTS AND I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY. **

**PLEASE REVIEW AND READ MY OTHER STORIES. **

_**LOVE, **__YOUR FELLOW DORK_


	4. Chapter 4

**thank you CandyMe21 and RJM. This one is for you guys! **

Avoid him was what I did. The next couple of weeks I stayed locked up in my trailer, in my room. It was the only way he'd be no where near me. And I wouldn't be so heartbroken. My tears would still spill out of me like sweat on a hot sunny day. My chest was stiff and cramped up like crazy. I was a hot mess, minus the hot and multiply the mess by ten.

"Alright, what's this news that you're cheating on Richie? "

Xavier spilled the tabloid magazine on the table. His beady eyes hiding behind the expensive dark frame glasses

"What? " I looked at the glossy paper and took in the image.

I stood on the corner of the street. My hands in my pocket with Embry's arms wrapped around my neck. The image of Embry was blurry but I knew it was him from the clothing choice. My picture wasn't the only one there; they showed Richie in the backseat of his car, an angry expression on his face. The tag line was a little much.

**TEEN SENSATION CHEATS ON BOYFRIEND WITH HOMETOWN HOTTIE **

"Home town hottie? Way to go, Em! "Quill slapped Embry on the back and ate the muffin food service was currently providing.

"Shut up, Quill. " Embry muttered

"So! " I glared at Xavier as he yelled over me.

"No. "

"No, what? " This guy needed to lower his voice.

"It's not true! " I wasn't the type of girl.

"Then what the hell is this! " He slapped the magazine over and over. Sending glares into my soul. Can you feel them too?

"It's a fuckin gossip magazine! Embry and I have been friends for years; it's not weird to see him hug me like that! "

"Do you know what this does for OUR image! "

"Our image? Im sure im the only one that's being called a slut on the Richie's fan sites. "

"You know what I mean. If your image goes down the drain, so does the bands. "

At this point I didn't care. I was worried about Embry's reaction to it.

"What's going on? " The guys pilled in the small tent and looked at an erratic Xavier.

"Ask your lead singer. " Xavier paced the room biting his nails like a lunatic. I really wanted to punch this guy.

"I got caught being hugged with Embry. Now im cheating on Richie. "I held up the gossip mag and the guys laughed.

"Well, welcome to a- list heaven, Embry. "

He sank down his chair and grumbled.

"Im sorry, Em. "

"_Harley was seen cannonading with a tall, tan man; the two have been seen around town since the day of her arrival. This wouldn't be the first time cameras have caught the young starlet attracting male attention. Sources close to Richie reveal that he is heartbroken by the pictures and still hasn't talked to his lady love… "_Dylan read

"Lady Love… that's nice. Do the have preteens in love writing this? "Thomas grimaced at the article. He didn't like gossip magazines or shows.

"My people are doing damage control at this moment. But we think it' be good if you got on to the website and wrote something. "Xavier spoke down to me all the time. And I let him. This wasn't much like me.

But when was I ever 'like me'.

"I'll think about it. But im going to talk to Richie first. "

Only fair. He was in the middle of this.

"Alright, I got you a plane for tonight… "

"Tonight? "Everyone's eyes grew. It was a little sudden.

"Yeah, you aren't going to do it on the phone… "

I was thinking of doing it so. I was a coward and didn't want my boyfriend to freak over these new photos.

"Where am I going to? "

"Australia, on his movie set. I got you a room at the Australian Empire suite. So, you'll get a break from all this… "He looked around the room. His face twisted around in disgust and he practically spat venom at my hometown friends.

"Stuff. "

He grabbed his blackberry and glared at Embry.

"Keep your filthy paws to yourself in public. "

Embry flared his nostrils and stood up. My hand quickly flew to his arm as I pulled him down. Embry would kill Xavier.

"Leave him. He's just stressed out. "

We all watched Xavier scurry away our of the tent.

"When do you leave? "

"Im thinking right now. The plane is probably being prepared as we speak. "

"What are you going to tell the guy? " Quill asked

"The truth, what else? "

The room stayed quiet as the guys looked at each other.

***Third person ***

The guys didn't speak much in the room. All of them sat around the white foldable table waiting for someone to answer. The guys went back to rehearsal. Setting up their stage for the night. They spent most of their time doing that then Harley. She didn't need a huge area to sing. The guys though, the needed to make sure their instruments had room, there was going to be no step that unplugged a wire, lights and etc.

Harley had left just hours ago, on her way to explain to her boyfriend exactly what went on with her and Embry.

Embry sat at the head of the table looking at the cover of the magazine. He didn't know it would feel like this. Kind of out of this world feeling. Looking at yourself, or his body, on a nation wide magazine cover with one of the biggest teen idols this decade. Though his name was never included he knew it was something big. Just by his form, his blurry little picture. He was, Harley's 'other man'.

"Well, what now… " Quill's nose had gotten back to normal. After the bloody mess that Jacob caused on his face , he hadn't spoken to his best friend.

"I don't know. I guess we just go back to what our lives were . "

The question was up in the air. Both Embry and Quill were fighting themselves from even asking their pack members. Sam was letting them sit in their funk. He knew both boys wanted to know how Jacob was doing . How he was handling himself after his friends clearly picked his ex-girlfriends side.

He wasn't good, that's for sure. The times he would phase and run for hours , Sam got a glimpse. He just thought of her and Bella. Named the girls similarities then realized he was fooling himself. They were nothing alike; His connection towards his first love was stronger and deeper. The painful howl would erupt when he thought of her laugh and their moments together. Sam wouldn't stay after the first round. He felt the pain and realized he had never seen heartache at this length,

Paul sat there and watched Sam get lost in his own world. Probably thinking about Jacob and his little painful head games. Paul shook his head. He would never be one to fall in love that deeply with a girl. He had to be reserved and make sure they were the ones that got hurt in relationship. Not him. But he did feel bad for both parts. Jacob for hurting as much as he did. For thinking he wasn't right for love, nor love for him. And For Harley. Because for someone so young and so opinionated. She was naïve. Hollywood took her and chewed her up. Made her some sort of robot. Xavier, to him was a complete moron. A douche bag. Someone who deserved to be thrown off the cliffs in his Armani suit and his thousand dollars worth of technology. Paul giggled from the vision and sat back. Right now, his life was good.

Jared stared eerily at Paul. His pack mate just randomly laughed in a quiet room. What was going on with him, nobody knew. But they all knew better then to ask. Jared watched Embry slowly scowl at the paper then slide it in the middle of the table. Leah reached over and grabbed it. Chuckling as soon as she opened the page. Soon her chuckle reminded him of Kim. And then Jared was gone. Lost in his little dream like world with Kim.

Seth, well. Seth was Seth. The most naive of all the wolves. The sweetest one though. Seth had a heart of pure love. Yet no lucky lady had jumped to it. He found it hard to find a genuine girl with a heart of gold. All girls wanted these days were the romantic dates, the expensive dinners and the annoying way to claim on every social network ting site that you were theirs. He wanted something that Jacob once had. And Jacob was pissed about it when he first heard Seth think about it. Seth wanted to fall in love with his very own best friend, the person who knew your flaws and your goods. Someone to talk to and joke around with but at the end of the night it was always more then friendship. It was UNDYING love. And boy did he crave that. Since Harley's arrival he had seen a glimpse of Jacob's memories. And Seth was addicted to it. He saw the sincere smiles and laughter. The looks they would give each other. And he felt Jacob's love for her. Unlike the others, Seth let the emotion flood into his system. He didn't block Jacob emotions but lived them with him. He understood the anger, the sadness and the love he had for this one girl. And he saw the heartbreak Jacob took. The beating of ones heart as it slowly fade away.

Seth had hoped though. He knew there was a reason why he didn't imprint on Bella. And why the love he forced on the leech lover never took place. Jacob's heart was never his to give away. It was Harley's. He hadn't talk to the Harley like his pack mates. He stayed back and watched her do her thing. He saw a difference. In the way she talked, the way she smiled and how she even walked. Like everything was perfected to look perfect. Like a very easily trained puppet. She wasn't the starry eyed girl he had a crush on when he was younger. She was a sad little girl looking for a way out without ruining her dream. Trying to find herself again.

_Jacob and Harley were meant to be… _His father's words spoke in his head. Harry Clearwater saw the two kid's future as soon as he saw them together. Both playful and loving towards anyone around them. Jacob being the huge big wall of steel and Harley , the small and soft little girl. And that was only physically. Personality wise they were opposites as well. He was truly a teddy bear with an affectionate heart and she was a tough cookie. Seth looked at the girl's face on the cover of the magazine. Leah read it slowly as she slowly turned the page. His sister looked worn out. Tired and tense. The same look Jacob had.

And that's where he saw Sam's observation wrong. Seth stood back and watched his friends get sent into a whirlwind of emotion. He saw it before. With Leah and Sam. He saw two people love each other endlessly. Proclaim their love and one day it was gone. That wasn't the case for Jacob and Harley. Those two would always be in love no matter what. They were soul mates in Seth's book. Perfect for each other, but sometimes perfect doesn't end up together. And in Jacob's mind, it would play out that way. He wouldn't have her as his again. He had one shot and it was all gone. She was a brand new person. And she knew Jacob was one too.

But he saw the aftermath. Sam said he never saw heartbreak like Jacob's but he wasn't looking next to him. Leah. Leah felt the same. She hated Sam and still does. But the love she has for him will never die. Sometimes it never does. Those that let love die are lucky. For they don't have to live with that burden.

**H.P.O.V**

_I_ sat in my hotel room looking over at all the old media magazines plastered wit my 'infidelity'. I can say im a horrible person now. Leave one boyfriend then another. Though I wasn't leaving Richie for Embry.

My front door opened and Andre, Richie's body guard, walked in. a soft weary smile on his face as he saw me. Then… Richie appeared. Dressed in a tight v-neck, his dark blue designer jeans outlining his beautiful sculpted ass. The dark aviator sunglasses on his god like face. His curly blonde hair combed back.

I stood up from my seat and walked towards him. It was awkward at first. I didn't know if I should hug him or let him just scream at me. But my heart beat me to it. I wrapped my arms around the guy who I probably hurt and embarrassed. And like the good guy he was he wrapped his arms around me as well.

"Im sorry. For everything. But im not cheating on you. Or never will. "I looked up at him. His face hiding any sort of emotion.

"I know. I've known since I met you. You're not that kind of girl. No matter what they write in these … "he picked up the magazine and cringed at his ungodly like picture.

"Piece of shits…" He looked up at me and chuckled

"Yeah. These piece of shits… "

He sat down on a chair and pulled me on top of him.

"I know better to believe in this gossip sites and paper. If anything went on between you and this… "

"Embry, he's one of my old friends… "The smile wasn't one I could've hid from him. And I shouldn't. I only spoke about the guys to the band and one special person in my life. Richie. I told him my past and the friends I left behind. Only to hear he understood and didn't blame me. But he did say I was should've done it a little more … respectful.

"I saw and I completely understood. It's been years since you were home. The smile in these pictures isn't something I had ever seen on you. " I felt bad. Even when he treated me well I wasn't as happy as I was.

I lay back onto his muscular chest and let him play with my hair. As he always did, it never felt the same as Jacob did. But it was all I had.

"Im so… "He lifted my chin up to face him. His crystal blue eyes looking into mine.

"Don't… don't be sorry for realizing where you're from. What truly makes you happy, "his soft and smooth lips touched mine and I felt safe.

"Thank you. "

We broke into a hungry kiss soon. Unaware of the people around us witnessing the kiss of one lost lover and one sick love hungry fool.

***Third person***

Embry and Quill walked toward the stage. Harley returned after a week away from La Push. She spent her time reconciling with her boyfriend. Something both Quill and Embry didn't want to hear. Both boys knew she wasn't a virgin. From all the times she and Jake would disappear and moments later show up with one of them at least missing one article of clothing.

The stage was built perfectly. Big like the top shops musical festivals held around the world. Sam and his pack were overjoyed and proud of their newly built construction. The lights were put up beautifully. Emily and had her knitting club helped sew and make a curtain. This was the new pride of Quileute nation at the moment.

They stood side by side and waited for the small rehearsal. Jacob stood with them. Surprisingly. He was still dead and sick form seeing Harley. His chest had been hurting for days and his mind was all a fog. It would clear up for the sudden migraine but other then that , he was dead. He wanted nothing to do with the stage. He wished that the waves would float it away and break it piece and piece like she broke his heart. But he knew it would help his tribe. It would help the economy in La Push. And that was what he supported. The financial income it would bring.

"Alright, what now? " Seth asked

"I don't know. It's beautiful " Paul was amazed he helped build this monster. To him it was the accomplishment of the decade. And let me tell you, Paul knew this was bigger then an ordinary stage.

The group heard the sudden laughing and the talking coming from one of the tents. Big, large men walked out smiling and enjoying a joke. The pack's eyes watched them all surround something before looking around.

"Wow, this is amazing! " The blonde hair man looked at the stage. His eyes as big as saucers that matched his 100 watt smile.

"Who is that? " Leah grumbled

"Oh my gawd … "The words left Kim's voice with just a little bit of breath. She wasn't sure what was happening. And she knew very much who it was. She loved Jared, she thought he was the total package but Richie Thompson was her other crush. I mean with that charming smile and those adorable dimples, it was hard not to think the guy was cute. His pictures covered her 'Mrs. Kim Jared Cameron' doodles on her binder and notebooks. And there was a reason. He was a Hottie. She soon found herself running towards the group of people along with Emily. Emily was a fan of romance movies so he knew the hunky actor as well. Sometimes wishing his character taught Sam a little thing about Romance. But she loved Sam and realized that if he ever did what Richie did in the movies, it was a bonus. Emily loved her unconditionally.

The guys stood their in awestruck as their woman ran off to the crowd.

"No way, cool! " Seth knew who it was. I mean , he didn't care as much as the girls but to see La Push suddenly flooded with stars it was amazing. He ran towards them leaving Leah, Jake, and Paul there.

"Who do you think it is? " Leah whispered

"From the smell I think it's some spoiled prat."

Jacob agreed. The cologne was strong and smelled like shit. He inhaled a little and smelled the coconut body wash she always used. It cured his headache until his pure hate covered it up.

"Come on… "

Paul was the first to leave. Leah looked at Jacob wondering if he was going to go. She knew who it was .he didn't need his name spoken to know that Harley's boyfriend was here. Jacob looked at Leah and shrugged.

"Im going home. "

Leah didn't fight with her pack brother. Only nodded and prayed that he wouldn't do something stupid like she had. She only wished that he would realize that hating yourself and the person that broke your heart wasn't the way to go. You're left with the scars that will never go away. Sometimes you have to sit down your attacker, look them in the eye and tell them the horror they put you through. But Leah shook her head and walked toward the crowd of screaming Kim and Emily. Knowing fully well , if she didn't take her own advice, why would Jacob Black.

**J.P.O.V**

"Ready to go? " Dad pulled on his jacket . I had just started talking to him. I don't think I could be angry at my father for caring for someone who helped him. Especially when I had ran off and ignored all my duties as a son.

"Yeah. "

I was more embarrassed about the way I acted. Like a lovesick teenager. I didn't want my father to jump up at the opportunity to call me a pussy if I decided to attack him. So , I kept my mouth shut.

The news of golden boy had shred through the town faster then a wildfire. Teenage girls were walking around la push trying to get a peek at the guy. Tourism was bigger since the first pictures of Harley appeared on the internet , but now it was a full on crowded. The streets were packed with walking teens and big time news crews. All looking for info about the girl I once loved and her new boy toy.

She's probably going to tear him apart sooner or later.

I helped dad into his truck and hopped on myself. Peeling the truck from the drive way and making my way down to the diner.

There was some sort of council meeting going on and since the council started repairs to the Council meeting house, they chose the second best place to fit a room full of old men. The Diner.

I watched teen girls race across the street. Holding a magazine or a cd in their hands.

"Business is looking up. " Dad spoke

"Why wouldn't it."

"You know this is going to benefit us, right? " He thinks im an idiot. I wasn't . I've just been in a whole other world.

"Yeah. I thought about it and im okay with it. I just don't.. Im hoping on not seeing her. "

Dad didn't say a word after. The rest of the ride was quiet

I helped dad into the diner and watched all the council men move around the room . Taking their seats before anything could be announced. Ms. Call closed off some blinds and turned on the bright lights.

"You going to stay , Jake? " Sam asked

"Nah, im going to go home. " I had the urge to pee. I said goodbye to dad and marched to the restrooms. As I made my way my headache and my stomach pains slowly started disappearing. I walked towards the back and hit the opening door.

"Oh shit. Im sorry. " I looked down at the melodious voice and I felt my heart pull. I watched my gravity shift, my name become a mystery to me. My friends and family along with my heritage take a backseat. My every emotion was intensified .

Just like the first time I laid eyes on her. I knew. Those hazel eyes of doom. My stomach bubbled up and I felt the acid slowly reach the back of my throat. I clenched my fists and held on to the tears. I had imprinted .

"Jacob! "

The vomit spilled out of my mouth and landed somewhere between her and I. I was fucked.

**thank you to every one reading. i hope you enjoy this short chapter, but i promise my update will be sooner the later.**

_**love,**_**_ your fellow dork._ **


	5. Chapter 5

**I SAID I WOULD UPDATE SOONER SO HERE I AM ONCE AGAIN. 2 IN THE SAME WEEK! IM ON A ROLL! **

**I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR READING, REVIEWING, ALERTING AND FAVORITING. EVEN WHEN I MAKE STUPID GRAMMER MISTAKES. DONT WORRY, I ALSO CRINGE BUT IM WORKING ON IT. GONNA REWORK ON OLD CHAPTERS AND TRY MY BEST TO REREAD NEW ONES. **

I looked down at the vomit on my clothes and cringed.

"What the fuck! " Richie pulled me away form Jacob's sick looking body and glared at my ex boyfriend.

"What is your problem! " I watched Jacob vomit down the door frame as the rest of the occupants of the Diner watched.

My heart was beating with a loud thump. Richie was strong but Jacob could tare his little body limb from limb. You never underestimate Jacob's strength.

His dark eyes looked up at me. The whites a light yellow. He looked ill.

"You're my problem! "He stood straight up and I saw Richie's strong man pose slowly melt away. Like a dog realizing his attacker was stronger.

"Leave him alone! " I threw myself between the two boys and closed my eyes. Waiting for a strike or some sort of altercation but it never came.

"Why?" his breath didn't smell like cinnamon but like old cheese and onion. I held in a breath and peered through one eye. Looking into his.

His began vomiting again and sooner or later I felt my arm tug me away. Emily knelt down next to Jacob as he sulked down the door frame and vomited into the bucket they provided. The pull of my chest started up again as I walked down the hall in a hurry.

"Wait! " I tried to fight past Richie's body guards but it was no hope. One of them threw me over their shoulders. I was finally high enough to see over the crowd of people over Jacob. He was on the ground. Throwing up the worst case of vomit I had ever seen. No longer the orangeish color I had on my clothes but a dark chunk red. He was vomiting blood. My heart raced and I felt the need to run to him. Lay his head on my lap and brush my fingers through his beautiful head. Sing him a song to make him better.

"Come on! "The last door closed off and I was outside. The rain drenched my clothes and I was suddenly stuck. Like a cramp had frozen time just for me to feel the sharp pain. The pain in my chest numbed my body from my toes to my head. The sharp pain only sharpened as I was thrown into the black SUV.

"Harley! " Richie grabbed my face and looked at my hand. Over my heart I tried to fight the pain. But it was the worst I had ever felt. I felt like I was dying. I was being stabbed by the sharpest knife in the entire world. The someone was ripping my heart vein by vein. I looked up into Richie's blue eyes and soon felt my lids close shut. The memory of the dark brown eyes encasing me into a deep sleep. Where I felt finally at peace.

* * *

I woke up in the brightest room possible. I tried to sit up but soon felt the restraints of the I'Vs on my arm.

"You're awake. " They weren't what I was hoping on seeing. But they did bring me comfort.

"Yeah, what happened? "

"You passed out. I thought you were having a heart attack. "Richie sat next to me.

"Did I? "

He shook his head and grabbed my hand

"No, the doctors don't know what happened. They are saying it's a stress overload. "

I looked down at the thin hospital gown draped over my body.

"Where are my clothes. "

"They were covered in that guys vomit… "His surly look told me he wasn't happy about that.

"Oh… "

I didn't blame Jacob. He was obviously sick.

"Oh, that's all you can say? "

Richie was upset.

"What do you want me to say? "

"I don't know, seem pissed. " He stood up fast, sending the chair back against the IV's. Pulling them slightly and making me wince.

"Oh, sorry, Rich. I was Busy lying in a hospital bed! "I rubbed the IV injected into my arm carefully. Hoping rubbing the pain would make it go away.

"It's not the time to be sarcastic, Harley. "

"It's also not the time to be a dick, Richard… "

He glared at me from the foot of my bed. Before he could say something, mom rushed in.

"Sweetie! "He tore his eyes away from me and walked at the end of the room.

"Hey mom. "

"We were downstairs getting coffee. You've been asleep all day. "

My mother kissed my forehead and swept my hair back. Dad did his thing and sat back. He was always the calmer of the two.

"It's okay. How long have I been out? "

"Just a day… "

"An entire day! "

"Shh, relax. It's okay. You were asleep. THe doctor gave you some medicine to relax… "

"They want you to stay for a little while you recuperate. "

"I feel fine though. "

"Because your on the best type of drugs anyone could offer. " Carlos announced walking into my room with the box of donuts in his arms

"We're still trying to figure out the street name to them, though. " Alex carried in the big thermos which could only contain one thing. His special nutella hot chocolate.

"Not funny guys! " Gloria, well, all she had was her disapproving look on her face.

"Isn't it sad this is the only way we could see our little sister? "

"You could always buy tickets! "

"Umm, no! " The twins shook their heads and sat down around me.

"We should be getting in for free. We did grow up with you. "Gloria said

As much as a fun sucker my sister was, she was still my big sister and I loved her.

"Where are the kids? "

"I left them with their father. I t think the business men on the late night flight would enjoy a couple of rowdy children. " My sister had given birth to the most beautiful and loudest kids ever. My niece and nephew. Noah and Ally.

"But you brought this one." I patted her swollen belly.

"Well she had to, Harley. What she going to do? "Alex joked

"Cut it out? " Carlos explained

Dad chuckled loudly as he bit into the glazed donut

"Well, isn't this nice! The whole family's together! "

I looked around and felt a sense of pride as I looked around. My entire family was here. Around me and smiling. It'd been so long since we were all together in the place. It goes to show you, families only get together when something bad happens.

"I'm going to head to the hotel. I'll talk to you later. "

I had forgotten about Richie. He was sitting in the back away from everyone else. Sulking. I nodded and sent him a smile. One that he returned .We would be okay.

"What's going on with him? " Carlos asked

"Nothing. I guess he's just scared about it. "

"We ALL were. " Dad bickered

'I know but Richie was there when everything happened. He isn't use to this… "

"Cant hang! " Alex yelled.

As much as I adored my boyfriend my bothers made me laugh as they teased my teen heartthrob.

"Well, I think he's a nice guy! He should be worried. "Gloria looked away from me and towards the pregnancy pamphlets they had by my desk.

"What happened when I was gone? "

"They just took x-rays, examined your every move and waited. "

"What about… "

"He's here. Somewhere. "Dad shrugged and started off talking about the new fruit smoothie mom had made him.

_***Third person* **_

The Pack watched Jacob lay there like a dead body. The heart monitors slowly beeping.

Billy had thought he lost his son. But he knew his beautiful dead wife was watching over him. Making sure the boy knew what was going to come of his beautiful life if he didn't come up.

His body was weak. Holding onto the last piece of string he had on this earth.

Only no one knew that string was Harley. Jacob took one look into her beautiful eyes and imprinted. That's when the sickness overcame. His insides felt like acid. He had thought of hurting his own imprint and it was too much for him. His reason of existence was the one who held his hatred. And he hated her even more for doing this to him. The confusion for Bella wouldn't have happened if she had stayed, or better yet. Had not stopped talking to him. He could have imprinted right away and they would've been together. None of this would've happened. But life isn't easy. Especially for a rock star and a shape shifter

Embry lay against the wall and watched his best friend slowly recuperate. He knew Jacob was bad, but didn't think it would lead to this. It's not that easy to get a needle into their arms but he was soo weak they had 3 in his left one.

Seth watched the whole pack think of ways to help their brother. But no one knew how. To them, this was life or death. They could lose a pack brother tonight.

"What do we do? "

"We hope for the best… "

Billy looked down at his son. His once joyful son. He had hoped he'd find love to distract him but it was unbearable. Billy understood what Jacob needed and craved the most. An old love that will never happen again. The sick part though, Billy understood if his son died right now. He wouldn't blame him if he did. After losing Sarah, he, himself had to fight off the demons of losing a loved one. But Jacob had the choice. His loved one was still on earth. Just a hall way down.

**H.P.O.V**

"Is there anyway I can just walk around? "

The nurse wasn't a really fan of mine. She was old and probably didn't listen to Enigmatic. Don't blame her; we didn't really play elderly music.

"You promise you'll stay away from caffeine. "

I was on a non caffeine diet. Much to my disappointment. I guess I was wired so much that the doctors thought it had something to do with my sudden chest pains.

"Promise! "

"Fine. " I sat up and felt the cold bleach air hitting my bottom. I was naked under these hospital gowns.

"Umm. "

"Your crazy haired friend stopped by with this! " Nurse Powell pulled out the designer box wrapped with blue ribbon.

_Get better kid, Xena _

I smiled down and bust open the box.

The laugh erupted out of me as I saw the simple dark gray sweat pants, the white tank top and the green zip up sweater.

It was a running gag for us. Putting simple comfy clothes in a high end designer box just so Xavier wouldn't freak. Like I said before, image is everything to Xavier. Even the clothes on my back.

"You can change yourself right? "She asked

"How do I… "I looked at the IV's and then at her.

"Come on, child! "

After changing myself I slipped on the ninja turtle slippers Embry got me and walked down the hospital hall. Watching the few nurses read their papers and then scurry down the hall to another patient. Forks wasn't like any other hospital. It was quieter and a bit calmer. Less crowded. I could walk down the hall and no one really spoke a word to me.

I passed the rooms of other sick patients. Some elderly, some young. I was drugged up like crazy. Sometimes I had to stop and sit on an outside chair because the walls were breathing.

"Are you okay? " The young nurse gripped my shoulder lightly. Looking down at me with a smile on her face. .

"Umm, yeah. Just got dizzy. "

"Nurse Powell sent me to check up on you. " She had a warmth to her I had never seen, only with my mom.

"Oh…"

"I should get you to your room if you're feeling dizzy. "

"Oh no im…" I saw the grimaced look on her face. I looked down at my ninja turtle covered feet and laughed nervously.

'It's not a question right? I have to head to the room. "

She nodded

"Im sorry. " She looked like she felt guilty.

"It's just your job. " I stood up slowly and walked with the I.V stand in one hand. Then looped my other with hers. She looked surprised at my gesture but continued down the hall.

"You've grown up so much. "

"Oh, you're a fan? " Since arriving in Forks I get people comparing my pictures form when I was younger to now. I guess there was a difference.

"One of the biggest. "She winked at me as she took my down a hall I didn't remember going.

"I guess you could say I changed. Four years does something. "

"Does it? "She asked

"I think so. I like to say I lost some baby fat. "

She stopped for a second and took a look at me. Her dark brown eyes looking me up and down. But it wasn't creepy. It was kind of… normal.

"I can see. But I still see the same playful little girl I first met. "

"First met? "

"Oh, I went to your first concert and saw you. "

"Oh. " We began walking down the hall as she patted my arm

"You'll be fine. I think this was just a little scare to point you down the right direction. "

"I hope… "I felt the sudden urge to run to something. Like a hungry dog sniffing out a treat. And it was like magic, I turned my head and saw someone I had been thinking about. Jacob

"Wait. " I let go of the I'V stand and walked towards the open door. The nurse held onto the I.V as I looked at his sleeping form. He looked pale for someone so tan. The IV's were beeping slowly. The white room looked empty compared to my colorful, balloon filled one.

"Do you know him? " She asked

"Yeah, I mean I did. "

She gave me a sad smile as I looked over his face. He looked dead. Like the life was sucked out of him. His face was thinner, looking gaunt.

"What do you mean you did? "

"He was my best friend …. And I left… "My voice cracked. And chin began to quiver but I fought through. The first tear falling out and leading the other thousand.

"Why not go in there. "

"He doesn't want anything to do with me… I hurt him… "

"Now now, im sure if he really did love you he wouldn't just forget you… "

I looked at the young nurse.

"I never said he loved me… "She blushed and looked down.

"Oh, there I go again. Jumping into conclusions…. "

I turned back to Jacob. Watching his huge body slowly breathe heavily.

"He said he loved me. And I loved him… "

"Do you still love him? "

"I don't know… "My voice was soft suddenly. All the strength was gone and I just wanted to cry. Cry into his lifeless arms and let no one hurt him. I wanted to protect him but he only needed protecting form one person. And that was me. The person who ruined his life.

"Go on. I'll keep a look out. "It was like she read my mind. She smiled at me and pushed the door open. More.

"Go on… don't just stand there… "

"_Mom, are you sure! " _

"_Jacob! I am a girl. We love this type of stuff! " _

_I glared at my mom as she helped me put on my tie. _

"_Looking good, Jake. " Rachel sat on the couch and watched as I struggled with the tie. _

"_Harley… "I heard Mr. Marquez warn my best friend as he walked through the door. _

_She wore the reddest dress I had ever seen. _

"_I don't want to wear it! "She tore off the matching headband and threw it in the trash. _

"_Sweetie, better not push it… "Mrs. Marquez looked at her husband lovingly before greeting my mom. _

_Harley didn't look as happy as she walked over here. _

"_Nice tie… "She smirked _

"_Nice dress. "She punched my arm making me laugh. _

"_I have shorts under. " _

"_Good, Quill got a new remote control car. This is the 4__th__ one this month. "I said _

_Quill had everyone looking for that stupid car. I was a bit jealous he had gotten it, and it pissed me off when he would rub it in my face. So, Harley grabbed it the moment he wasn't using it and went off and buried it. Just so she wouldn't see me upset. _

_I looked at her cute smile as she giggled _

"_Don't worry, I'll bury it. " _

"_Why would you do that again, Harley? You know he gets mad. " _

"_Because I don't like seeing you sad. It makes me sad. " _

_I looked at the pale girl and turned my head. She was really pretty. _

"_Alright you two, lets get going. " _

"_Come on Harley, wear the headband grandma made you… " Her dad dusted off the headband and waved it over her head _

"_Grandma sucks! "She pushed past her older brothers and walked towards the car. _

I was just sitting here for only a couple of minutes. I my throat was dry and every time I tried to swallow the saliva it got harder. Like I could just choke and die right here. Wouldn't that be amazing?

I licked my dry lips and looked at his. Dry and chapped.

"Im sorry you know. …For everything I did. For taking that deal, for leaving you. Then never calling. I know what I did wrong and that's what's the toughest to understand. It hurts me to know that I hurt you. Someone that would of never hurt me. "

His heart monitor as still beeping. Slowly as ever.

"I didn't think my life would be like this, or yours. I mean at just 14 you never think about the stuff we went through. Though I know nothing of what happened to you…. I honestly thought if I stayed here. Me and you would be married. Funny right? Harley Marquez dreaming of a marriage and children. I am a girl though. "I laughed softly and wished he was here.

"Im not sure what's wrong with you. But I think this is the only time I can talk to you. When you're not yelling at me or … "the pain flashed through me as I recollected the memories of him calling me names. Wishing me dead and in pain.

"I am sorry. And I hope you understand. Like how I understand your pain. You were always my best friend, Jacob. Always my first love… always. "

I looked out the door and saw it was still empty. My hand went for his. Holding the large hand in mine.

_Flashback_

"_What do you mean you two haven't held hands! " Quill Yelled _

"_Quill… "Embry warned _

"_Have you got no balls, Jacob! " I walked along with the guys towards our class. Somehow we got to the topic of couples and since Jacob and I were brand new addition to that club, Quill went after us. It was only 2 weeks and we still acted buddy buddy. Only now we would talk on the phone longer, our flirting wasn't hidden and he wrapped his arm around me every chance he got. _

"_I got the balls, Quill. " _

"_Then do it! " Jacob looked at me. The soft blush on his cheeks. _

"_Quill, why don't you go hold something else before I chop it off. " I explained _

"_Im helping you, baby… "He wrapped his lanky arm around my shoulders_

"_Don't call me baby. " I shrugged off his arm and stood next to Jake and Embry. I hated when he got into his rico suave personality. He thought he was the biggest ladies man possible. He wasn't. _

"_And why not? " _

"_She's not yours! " Jacob stood in front of me and looked down at Quill. _

"_I don't know Black, she looks single to me! " _

"_Alright, hold my binder. " I gave Embry my books and stepped up to Quill. I flung my open hand towards him but was stopped by Jacob's. Like two pieces in a puzzle they found their way together, perfectly in sync and closed off for any other. And then they made their way towards Quill's face. _

_I laughed lightly at Quill's pain until I realized the warm sensation on my hand. I looked down and saw the tan hand clenched with mine. _

"_Is it weird? "He asked_

_I shook my head and smiled_

"_It's the opposite of weird… "Jacob nodded enthusiastically and kissed my cheek. _

"_See, told you t would work. " Quill cheered from the ground , holding his red cheek. _

"_Come on, cupid. " Jacob helped him up before we resumed walking down the hall. _

**_END FLASHBACK_**

The beeping went off suddenly. A faster beat from the monitor sounding through the air.

"Oh shit… "I stood up and watched his breathing get better.

"Room 14! " The doctors burst through the door all pushing me back to surround Jacob

"Come on, let's go. "The young nurse pulled me past the sudden crowd of nurses rushing to Jacob's room.

"Well, that's over with. "

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READS MY LITTLE STORY, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO TAKE THEIR TIME TO REVIEW. YOU GUYS MAKE WRITING THE ENXT CHAPTER EASIER. **

**EITHER WAY, JUST KNOWING YOU GUYS ENJOY MY STUPID LITTLE STORY KEEPS ME GOING. **

**I HOPE YOU CAN ONCE AGAIN REVIEW, AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN UPDATE. **

**LOVE YOU ALL, _YOUR FELLOW DORK_**


	6. Chapter 6

**I KNOW ITS SHORT BUT TRUST ME. IM WORKING ON THE NEXT ONES. MERRY CHROSTMAS TO ALL BTW. HOPE YOU SPENT IT WELL. IM WORKING ON TONS OF NEW THINGS, INCLUDING STORY LINES AND IDEAS. I HOPE YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY. **

**PLEASE REVIEW SO I KNOW I DO HAVE SOME SORT OF READER. **

**SERENITYANGELS**

** .LUPUS**

**AND**

**GUEST. **

**YOU GUYS ROCK! **

I watched the guys laugh and sip on their sodas. God, I wish I had some. I licked my lips and soon found the cup of water touching my lips. Self- control.

"Feeling any better, Harley?" Dylan asked

"Somewhat… I do feel a bit more energetic. "

"Good, we got the stage built and publicity starts in a week. We got two TV gigs already in place for us. " Remy tilted the bag of chips into his mouth. All those nacho cheese crumbs falling into the depths of his happy stomach.

"You hungry, Harley? " The guys laughed as my stomach growled. I sank into my hospital bed and groaned. I felt better then ever and they did not want to let me out. Moreover, Nurse Powell was tired of me asking. She had rolled her eyes and mutters under her breath how young people had no respect for authority.

However, it was not that. I had respect for authority, but I do not think I should be in the hospital days after I fainted. I was not doing any tests, I wasn't being watched. I was just wasting space for the doctors. What if something tragic happened, and they needed a room. Well, I guess I would be kicked out by then but why wait. Just let me go.

Thomas stood up form his small chair and brought the box of greasy pizza towards me.

I looked at the cheesy bread goodness. My mouth watered. Why was he teasing me!

"Go on… "I shook my head and begged to god I have the strength to say no.

"Come on, they checked up on you 5 minutes ago… they don't come back until another hour. "

He had a point.

I reached and grabbed the Italian delicacy and pretty much shoved it in my mouth.

"That's my girl! " The guys cheered and drank their soda. I sat back and watched some sort of sport event.

It was the first time the guys had really sat down and hung out with me since we arrived. It felt good to laugh and joke about stupid shit and not care about any schedules or wardrobe options. It was good right now.

"So, any thing new?"

The guys lowered the TV volume and looked at me.

"nah. We don't really want to move anything around without you. "

_FLASHBACK _

_I watched the guys play on the small wooden stage. Four guys rocking out to classic rock songs. I was in awe. _

"_We're going to go to Quill's. He's got a new trampoline…. "Embry bumped into me as I stared at the guys. They were older then us, probably 16 or 17. High school seniors. _

"_Oh, umm… " _

_Ii didn't want to leave. I wanted to watch them play. They were good, minus the flamboyant lead singer. Who was decked out in a leather jacket with fur trimming? A deep, escalating voice that ran on notes only Whitney or Mariah could pull off. _

_Embry shook his head at the screeching scream of the lead singer. _

"_You coming? " _

"_I'll meet up with you guys, im going to get something to go… " _

_I was lying through my teeth. I just wanted to watch the band play. But Embry bought it and ran towards the door. _

"_I'll tell the guys! See you later! " _

_I waved goodbye and moved towards a seat. I was more in love with the band. THey way they played together was like magic. I sat in awe at the boys until the drummer stood up and threw his drum sticks at the lead singer. _

"_What the fuck man! " _

"_Stop with the screeching noises! " _

"_Im signing! " _

"_He's right, Don… you can't pull off those notes…. "The bass player looked at Don, the lead singer, a sympathetic look at him. _

"_What do you mean? I took voice lessons and perfected them! " _

"_Well obviously you have a different meaning of perfect… "Dylan dropped his guitar and popped open a soda. Watching Don Look at the guys with so much disdain. _

"_Look, I don't need this shit… " _

"_Good! " _

"_Rem! " Thomas yelled at his angry drummer and looked at Don. _

"_Don, stop. All we ask… " _

"_Ask? How dare you ask! I run this band! I AM this band. The girls come for me…. Right? "Don looked straight at me. _

_I felt the blush on my cheeks and I got up and ran for the door. Only to be stopped by a firm bony hand. _

"_Hey toots… "He purred _

"_Eww, im 13 you pervert! " I pushed him off me. _

"_Eww? That's your expression? " _

"_Leave her alone, Don. " Dylan laughed loudly as he watched me stare at the angry looking young man. _

"_Yeah. " _

"_You're telling me you're not watching me? " _

"_Im actually amazed at how awesome you guys play…" by now I moved my way past the egocentric lead singer and stood in front of Thomas. _

"_Us? " _

"_Yeah, you guy have an awesome rhythm… " _

"_Keep talking… "Remy smirked down at me and I blushed. _

"_Your cover of Welcome to the Jungle is pretty good, but… I don't know. The way you guys play the notes shouldn't be sung in such a …. " _

"_Somber way… "Dylan finished my sentence and I nodded eagerly. _

"_Yeah! I mean don't try to do your own little remix with a badass song… If anything you should just keep it the same… " _

"_I could do that….. " Don spoke up stepping up on the stage and beginning to belt out a horrid version of the badass song. _

"_No, no, no… it has to be more like… " _

_I stopped my way to the top of the stage. Setting Don aside as I grabbed the black microphone. I had grown some confidence and belted out the first few choruses of the song. It was like something I never felt. I had sung the songs before but never on a stage, never with an actual band. An actual band? Yeah, because right in the middle of the chorus the drum started playing, the lead guitar started up, and the bass just let it rip. _

_We played through the whole song and soon I realized I had found my passion. Performing. _

_END FLASHBACK _

"Welcome to the jungle… "It was barely a whisper but the guys heard it well. Like they were waiting for me to say it.

"What? " Soon all the boys stood around me.

"That's when we first met… "

"When the band first played together. " Thomas nodded his head excitedly.

"Welcome to the Jungle, Enigmatic … "

**Q.P.O.V**

"What happened? "

I looked down at Billy who looked tired. Probably from all the sleep he was losing. The old guy was stressed out of his mind about Jacob.

"His heart is beating faster… the doctors said they've never seen a recovery like this…. "

Jacob wasn't as pale and thin as he was before. Like over night he had gained some sort medical miracle.

Billy touched his son's hand and smiled softly.

"Why do you think? "

I had no idea. I wish I did.

"As long as he's getting better. "

I watched the beeping heart monitor move faster then before. A wave of relief going through my body. This was a hectic week for the wolf pack. . With the sudden crowd control, the patrols, the emotional friend situation I was in. I was drained. And now I felt free. Finally a good sign.

"Hey… "Embry slipped in with a cup of coffee. Handing it over to Billy.

I felt my urge to pee and stood up for the chair. I had been here since I got the call Jake was showing positive signs. Billy didn't want him to be alone, just in case his son woke up. So, when he went home to sleep and rest I took over.

"Im going to head to the bathroom. " Embry took my seat and sat with Billy. Both men looking at the heart monitor beep steadily.

I closed the door lightly and watched the nurses sitting at their desk. Their's eyes watching me as I walked by.

"I'm okay! " I knew that voice very well.

"Get in your bed, Harley! " I was right. I looked back at Jacob's door. Room number 14, then at Harley's. Room number 13. Who would've thought the two would be next door to each other.

"But I have to pee! "

I creeped closer to the door.

"You can't go in there sir…. "The lady stood up form her chair. Her tweety bird scrubs catching my attention.

"That's really. … "

"Save it, you can't go in there…. "

"Im a close… "

"Yeah, and so are they…" she pointed down the hall where two big security guards were holding down a group of girls peering through their huge shoulders.

"No, but I …. "

"Look, don't make me call security… "

"Alright sorry…. "I held my hands up in front of me and walked passed the nurse.

"But you'll be sorry! " I yelled

I had heard Harley was in the hospital for passing out. But that's all I heard. Her parents were busy with family and visiting her as often as they could. So we really had no insider to ask.

I made my way tot the bathroom and realized I had lost the urge to piss. I sat down on the bench in front of the snack machines and grabbed a dollar form my pocket. Looking into the window and looking over the snacks. My eyes landed on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich…

_Flashback_

"_I just don't see it! " Embry was a moron_

"_not everybody is going to like dipping their sour cream and onion chips into a artichoke dip . " it was the most delicious thing I had ever ate. _

"_Eww… "Harley set her tray down _

"_See! " Embry looked at me _

"_I don't know, sounds good. " Jacob protested _

"_See, Jacob thinks so… " _

"_He ate a month old spaghetti form my fridge. He has no say in food choices! " _

"_Dude… that's gross. " _

_Harley laughed and kissed Jacob's cheek before biting into her sandwich. " _

"_Look, I don't hate you for eating that shit. " _

"_What shit? "Embry looked at his food tray while I stared at his disgusting food choices. _

"_That… that's gross. " _

"_Quill, that's a PB&J. "she looked at me like I was the dumbass. I mean I know what it is… _

"_I know. " _

"_Are you fucking kidding me? " She threw down her ketchup packet and looked like I just called her new song a fucked up medley. _

"_What? " I looked at Harley. _

"_Those are two food groups that are meant to be! " _

"_No, they are not. " _

"_Look, in her defense… "I threw the pickle at Jacob face, stopping his mouth form running into a war zone. _

"_In her defense? Come on Black. Let your girl fight this one. "Jacob looked at Harley who giggled_

"_Don't worry, I got this, babe. " She patted his chest and turned her attention back at me. Her soft smile wipe doff her face and now I got her angry one. _

"_Peanut butter is a hassle when alone… it's gets sticky and your mouth closes up like a bear trap. Jelly, well it's also sticky and if you want it alone it's the grossest thing in the entire world. So god decided to put these two semi awesome things and mash them together. You get the roughness of the peanut butter and the slickness of the jelly. The two even out each other and, voila! You got yourself a miracle! " _

"_That's still gross! " I argued _

"_You don't see it! The moral of the story! " _

"_What's the moral! " _

"_That bread bought these two things together because they make each other better! They make an amazing combination that not only benefits everyone around them but they make each other better! That's the moral of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! "She was passionate alright. _

"_So you're telling me. If you put the two together, they make each other better? " _

"_Moral of the story! " She sat back in her seat and looked up at Jacob _

"_You're my peanut butter. " _

"_And you're my jelly. "_

"_I guess that makes us the bread! Holla! "Embry and I high fived before we erupted into a loud laugh. _

_END FLASHBACK _

"Holy fuck balls! " I grabbed the peanut butter sandwich and ran down the hall. The steady heart beat, the room next door. It all made sense….

"Embry! "

I couldn't yell his name out any louder.

As I turned the halls I was stopped by the body guards and the screaming fan girls.

"Come on, man! Im in room 14! "

He looked me up and down and let me through.

Embry came out Jacob's room and shook his head at, me

"Dude, shut up… you're going to get us kicked out… "

"We are the bread, Embry! "

"What? "

"We are the Bread! " I showed him the sandwich and he shrugged

"I don't… "

"The moral of PB& J embry… "

"They are meant to be together… "

Yeah… And why? "I whispered

"Because they make each other better? "

"Yeah. Exactly. "

"So? That's something Harley made up? "

"Dude, do you not…. "I shook my head and forgot I hadn't told him.

"Harley is in room 13... "

"What? "

"She's next door to Jacobs? "

"How do you… "

When I walked out I heard her arguing with the nurse… but that doesn't matter. What if they moved her in there and that triggered Jacob's heart monitor…. "

"But why? "

I had no answer for this.

"I don't know. But it's the only thing that makes sense. "

"Think about it, Em. "

Embry leaned against the wall and nodded.

"Before he passed out he saw her, and then she passed out …. "

It was like a light switch went off. Out eyes connected and a smile ripped through our faces.

"You think? " He asked

"If there is a god and if Corey and Topanga were really meant to be…. then im right.. about everything... "

"Okay… Now what? "

"Operation PB& J is in order. "

**READ AND REVIEW**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you , The. Female .Lupus , KarleighStock , and Guest. You guys are amazing! **

Watching old reruns of friends never get old. Maybe because there are so many of them that you forget you watched them before.

"Bye, Nurse Powell! "

She muttered under her breath and walked out the metal door.

I flashed through the channels and stopped on the entertainment channel.

Pictures and headlines of a few people I knew. Then Hollywood's latest train wreck.

_Richie Wallace seen out partying with Cassidy Reeves weeks after his alleged girlfriend, Harley Marquez was seen cannonading with an unknown male. Could this be a sign that the two talented kids are doomed? _

_Harley released a statement "I've seen the pictures and laugh every time I see them. It wasn't just a hug but one close friends share. I've known the guy since I was a baby. Finally seeing someone you haven't seen in years stopped your sense of judgment. If anyone takes the pictures as a wrong doing, then I am sorry. Im happily with Richie and we are doing great. It was a misreading as it always is… " _

_Richie and Harley were seen over the weekend at the band's upcoming music festival. Richie flew back to L.A for last minute photo shoots for his upcoming movie with Cassidy. This comes in the wake of Harley's recent hospital visit. _

_For more…. _

"He's handsome, isn't he? " The beautiful nurse walked in holding a bouquet of daisies.

I looked up at the candid of Richie and me in Hawaii. Both of us walking along the beach, our eyes hidden behind dark glasses. A serious look on both our faces

"Yeah, very. "

The nurse walked over to me and fluffed my pillow. Smiling softly as she hummed a song. It sounded so familiar. I closed my eyes and softly swayed to the soft murmur.

"You guys look cute together. "

My eyes snapped open. She stood next to my bed, looking down at me curiously. Her hands full with the food tray

"Im sorry, I forgot your name. "

She smiled softly before setting the trap on my lap.

"Nurse Wilde. "

"Thanks. " I looked down at the mash potatoes and the gravy. The smoked ham and the green beans. The fork didn't hit my mouth as fast as I wanted it to.

"You guys are okay, right? " She asked

I wasn't sure why it didn't bother m when she asked. When people ask about Richie it tends to annoy me. But Nurse Wilde didn't have that effect on me.

"Yeah, everything's good. "

"Good. There's nothing better then young love. " I slowly ate and watched her look down at her hands. They were thin and looked spotted. Her skin was wrinkled. A total difference from her youthful face.

"I remember my first love… "

"Oh, Richie isn't my first love. "

"I only dated one man. And he was and will always be my first love. "

The thought was pure and beautiful. One man for the rest of your life. Like some sort of teenage dream written to make girls awe. With romance.

"He was kind and made me laugh every second we were together. I didn't know he loved me until my girlfriends pointed it out. They said the way he looked at me when I laughed said everything. So, one day I held in my giggle and watched. He stared at me. The most intense stare I had ever seen. You would think he was sad if it wasn't for the twinkle in them, and his beautiful smile. As if he was proud for making me laugh. "

She remained quiet and looked at the air in front of her. As if she was in a trance.

"What happened? " I whispered

She looked me dead in the eyes.

"Death got in the way years after that moment… "I saw the tear rip down her face.

"Im so sorry. "

"It's not your fault. It was nobody's. "

"I did learn something though. "'

"What? "

"How important someone can be. After losing them you'd want nothing but them back. You forget the bad and just try to relive the good. You'd do anything to relive the bad, if it meant spending time with them ….. "

I knew what she said. After I stopped called Jacob I dreamed of him. I cried through the days I stayed in my bunk crying to his memories. Even smiling at the bad ones. I would give my career just relive the bad. I'd do anything to be with him again.

That probably says something about me. Here I was, claiming to greatly like one boy who stood by my side through it all. Through my troubles and nagging. Only to love the guy before him. I was unfair to Richie. I knew I could never give him my all. He craved intimacy, to hold me and have me love him like he loved me. But I could never give him that. It hurt too much to love anyone but Jacob.

I thought I was over him but I was wrong. I was never over him. I was just covering it up. Pretending I didn't. And somehow, it worked. I convinced myself I didn't love him or needed him. And for the second year. It worked. I was invincible. I did everything like if he never existed. Then it washed back up and sent me flying down.

Now im here. Sitting with a nurse who would daze off and stare at the air. Admitting to myself how selfish I am. For leaving Jacob here, forgetting his feelings for mine.

1. I left him to know I was okay without him. Hurting his feelings and his whole persona in the process.

2. I did nothing for my hometown because I felt superior to them.

3. I let a boy with dreams and a heart full of love ready to give, fall in love with me. Take care of me. When I couldn't do that for him. And the sad part was. Richie knew that. He knew the day we met.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_I walked down the red carpet. The guys had me laughing at a joke Remy just told. I didn't hear it. Not when my mind was on the photographers in front of us. _

"_HARLEY " _

"_Remy! " _

"_Thomas! " _

"_Dylan! _

_They yelled our names like starving animals. _

_Xavier and Victor arranged us every time we posed. Made sure to put me in the middle of the guys. _

_After they got here shot we were ushered inside the theater. Along with the other stars. _

_After arriving in L.A, we recorded the album. We did promo, did small talk shows and our first song was a hit. Soon we were sent into the whirlwind. We did a small tour in the country and that expanded to world wide. It had been a year since Jacob became history. _

_One of our songs made it into the soundtrack of an up and coming action romance movie. And we were invited to join the festivities. Even for having a number 1 record, being nominated for Grammy's and awards left and right. _

_This was our first red carpet. We were just off tour, all of us thinner and tired as ever. But we wouldn't have changed any of this for it. _

_The theater was packed with directors, producers, studio executives, agents and managers looking for new talent. _

"_We're sitting in the third row. Right behind the lead actors. "Xavier cheered. I smiled softly and played with the hem of my black dress. _

"_Okay, I'll be there. " I eyed the candy counter and bit my lip. So good. _

"_Where you going? You can't eat candy. It breaks you out… " He pulled my arm softly. Glaring at me. _

"_Ladies room. Im on my period. "_

_Xavier gawked at me and stuttered away. Something about meeting me inside. His cheeks matched the red carpet. _

_I watched him make his way into the dark theater until I walked towards the candy counter. _

"_Can I have, the chocolate covered pretzels, the peanut butter cups and the sour warms… " _

_The pimply teenage boy eyes me up and down and smirked. _

"_It's on the house…. "He laughed nervously handing me the snacks. _

"_Umm, no. I'd rather pay. "I dug into my bra and pulled out President Jackson. A crinkly green version of him._

"_Keep the change… " _

"_I think im going to tell on you…. " _

_I looked up at the tall stud. _

"_Really? What if I share? "I offered him the box of raisins and he grinned. The second most beautiful smile I had ever seen. _

"_Then I have to rethink my plan." He poured himself a handful and munched away_

"_I thought you weren't supposed to have these? " He asked _

_I looked up at the boy. More like man. Why did he even care? _

"_I overheard. "He explained _

"_Im not. Im currently off sugar for 'promotional purposes' "I laughed at the stupidity of the industry. _

_Everything had to be perfect and in well condition. If it wasn't it was crap and not welcomed. _

"_Same. "He ripped open the bag of worms and gulped them down. _

"_Im sorry but I've been on tour and im sure you're SUPER famous but… " _

"_Richie Wallace. " _

"_Nice to meet you, Richie. Im… " _

"_Harley Marquez. The lead singer of the new explosive up and coming band… " _

"_Stalking me? "I questioned the handsome blonde. _

"_Nah, I recommended your band after hearing you guys at a pub in England. We were filming there. " _

"_Well, thank you. " I didn't know to hate this guy or not. He seemed somewhat cocky but relaxed and chill at the same time. Plus he was easy on the eyes. _

"_No, thank you. " His voice wasn't as deep or comforting. But it was one thing that wasn't like Jake's. It was reassurance. _

_It was weird. Like my chest opened up and my body felt numb for a second. Then the butterflies took place. There I sat on the bench outside theater 14, next to the handsome actor who was staring in his first major motion picture. _

_We missed the previews of the movie just sitting there and laughing at stupid media stuff we went through. Up until Xavier and his manager ran out pulling us apart. _

_I said my good byes and made sure to get a good look at him. Because even if we saw each other after. It would be the last time I see this side of him. The pure side of him. When no one tried to change him until that very moment._

_When his management didn't make him gain 20 pounds of muscle. They made him lose his accent because it didn't sound 'Hollywood. When the dentist fixed his teeth and made him get a tattoo to add to his badass image. And then there was me. The one who used him to feel better about herself. Richie was a sad, victim. Being played by everyone he thought he could trust_

* * *

**R.P.O.V**

"Do you always got to be this nervous? " Cassidy's rough voice spoke form across the limo.

"Yeah, I do… "

"Are you scared your girlfriend will think something's going on between us? I can call her if you want. "

It wasn't that. I reassured Harley over and over again that I only had eyes for her. And she seemed annoyed at times. I wasn't sure it was me telling her numerous of times or the thought that I truly did love her.

"No, I just get nervous. "

"A guy like you nervous? I would think you'd be use to all the female attention. "

I wasn't.

"No. im not. "

"Now that I think about it, I see it. "

I looked across at the sickly blonde. She flicked her well manicured nails.

"See what? "

"Well, from the get go you've been in a relationship. What was it? The year after you made it… "

"Right after the movie release. " I remembered

"You met her… She is beautiful. Isn't she? "

"The most beautiful girl I had ever seen… "

"If your into _that _type. "

"What type are you talking about? "

"Come on, Richie. The sad, confused, naïve young girl type. I would think you need a woman."

Physically yes. But emotionally… I can see she's dragging you in the rut. "

She wasn't dragging anything.

"Are you mad because im bad mouthing your little girlfriend… "

"You know nothing about her. "

"I know that she doesn't love you… "

Just someone saying those words killed any ounce of hope I had.

I knew form the get go she was a tough one. Very walled up, emotional and tense. It was very rare to see a side of true happiness in her. For awhile, I saw it. I watched her laugh and smile at me, Become affectionate and show me she did love me. But then it went away. She became cold and kept her distance from me. Like something haunted her.

_Flashback _

"_Just once I want you to tell me you love me! " I held my finger out at her. _

"_You don't think I would if I did! "Her eyes were filled with terror and pain. So red and puffy from crying. Her makeup was streaming down her face. She shook her head and looked down at he ground as my heart fell._

"_We were doing soo good… " Even I had to start crying. I never felt like this for someone. The ache was bigger then my entire heart. It swelled over it like a drug. Filling the veins and canals with pain and sadness. _

"_I know. And that's what sucks. " She whispered _

_I ran my fingers through my hair, watched the tears hit the carpet floor. Soon they left wet circles. _

_The room was quiet, cold and lonely. Much like her. And soon like me. _

_I felt her walk out the room sobbing. Muttering words that didn't mean anything to me. _

_I looked up and wondered how we ever got this way. She was mine, and she told me I was hers. But now, all that was out the window. _

_I missed her warm personality, not this cold one. She didn't even look at me anymore. Her lips didn't touch mine like they use to. She would wipe away after I detached. Then slowly walk away and do whatever she did. These days it semitone angry outburst and slugging around her small apartment. I wasn't sure if I could do this anymore. It sounds horrible and wrong but the pain was eating me away. Entering the relationship I gave it my all. I wasted one year and got nothing in return. It was like a bad purchase. You buy something thinking it would help but it turns out it doesn't. It had its defects._

"_I have something to tell you. " I looked up at a serious Harley. Her face was cleaned from the makeup; her hair was up in a messy ponytail. _

"_What? Came to add salt to the wound? "I laughed bitterly _

"_You think I like seeing you like this? You think I sleep okay at night knowing you are broken. That I broke you? " _

_Her voice broke several times. Her sobs were trying to break through. _

"_I don't! And I hate that I did this! But you don't understand… " _

"_Then tell me! What is wrong with you loving me? I love you, Harley! I don't see how hard it is to love someone! "I yelled right in her face. She didn't budge but took it. _

"_See! That's where you don't understand, Richie! It's hard to love someone. Especially when you think the way I do. …" loving someone means giving your all to them. Your feelings, your mind, every insecurity is thrown to them. Giving them all your baggage. And let me tell you, I have baggage. " _

"_I can handle it… "I confessed_

"_You say you can but we're fighting over 3 little words… '_

"_3 little words that mean something to me. " They meant a lot _

"_Just because they mean something doesn't mean you really do mean them. I can tell the bell hopper I love him and it wouldn't mean anything. " _

"_What are you trying to say? " _

"_Love isn't just words but actions. " _

"_I show you that I love you… " _

"_Yeah. I know. And im grateful for that. But sometimes I can't say those words because I know that there is a meaning behind it. Even if I don't truly believe they do. I rather show you then say it… " _

_She did show it. A lot now that I think about it. She rooted and was anxious for me when ever I had an auditioned. She traveled miles to be with me when she had to stay up recording music. She bought me things that made me laugh and enjoyed spoiling me. Took care of me when I was sick, by my side when nana died. It was a side not a lot of people saw. She randomly hugged me, kissed me. And those were the moments I let slip away. Those moments were her saying she loved me. And I was too busy waiting for her to say it. I guess there are people who would rather you say those words to them, and there are people who would rather have you show them. But listening to her voice tell me she loved me would reassure me she was mine. Let me know I wasn't going to lose her soon. That she would continue to show me she loved me. _

_But every good thing must take a sharp turn. And today it was mine. It started with a small argument. I missed my plane for New York because of it. _

"_What made you so cold…? " I asked _

_But I took another trip. A trip that would only make me more ambitions for her love. One that would shape me for the better and make me understands. And somehow, through it all. The badness that came. I loved her more. Because she was so small and afraid. She acted strong but in all she was weak. The only thing she had protecting her was the giant wall she built. But after today, I would be in front of the wall. Not shoo away from it. But protecting her as well. The wall and I would be friends. And I will love the woman it hid. _

"_His name was Jacob. " _

_ENDING FLASHBACK _

"You can't say that. You can never say that, you're ignorant when it comes to her. "

"Am I? "She quirked a brow and sneered at me

"We all have stories and I know hers. Yeah it's pretty rough to be me but it's worth it. When you love someone you will go through hell for them. Like how you go through hell to get shit faced wasted. "

She only smirked at me.

"It won't last. And when it doesn't I hope you tell me. Because I want to be the one to tell you 'I told you so."

"It's never going to happen because I won't let it. I stand by her like a man, a man that loves her. "

"She's got her hooks into you. " She shook her head and smiled as soon as the car door opened. A man helped he rout as I scooted closer. The screams of the fans no where near at how loud my inner screams were.

They repeated the same thing over and over again.

"Please, god. Let this work out. "

**H.P.O.V**

"Come in! " I dropped the guitar and looked towards the door.

Quill bounced in holding a couple of balloons. Seeing him really did make me happy. I haven't seen him in days. None of the guys actually. Maybe we weren't good friends.

"'it's a boy? " I laughed at the round blue baby balloon he brought in.

"A smile! That's what I was going for! "He dropped the balloons on a table and sat on the foot of my bed

"I hope you snuck those in, I don't want people to think I had a kid… "

That's the last type of publicity I want.

"No ones out there. You're manager ha them all shooed out. There's like a whole swat team downstairs. .. "

"Swat team? "This was getting ridiculous.

"Not swat but the size is equal to that of. It's mostly security and volunteers."

He shrugged and grabbed my juice box and sipped on it.

"So, this is why you came? To drink my fluids! "

"Hey, you're Harley Marquez. Lead singer of Enigmatic. They can bring you the actual fruit and squeeze it right here for you! Calm your shit. "

I chuckled and lay back on the stiff bed.

"What are you doing here, Quill. "

"I can't see one of my best friends? " He questioned

"No! You need a reason. "

"I missed your face. '

"Who doesn't. " I joked

"I can name a few. "

Jacob. Innocent sick Jacob. Huge angry Jacob… so many different types of Jacob if you ask me. It wasn't like that before. He was normally just Happy Jacob.

"How is he? " Quill crushed the red box in his hand and threw it directly into the trash bin. A smile form the accomplishment on his face.

"He's sick … "

No one knew I was in there that day. I had to play it cool.

"Of what? "

"Doctors don't know… "

"Doctors? "

"He's like, really sick. Was throwing up blood and shit…" he took a long gulp and looked my way.

My insides churned and I felt my head start hurting.

"He's better! Doctor says he's improving every day! "He reassured

"Oh, that's good. "

The room remained silent.

"He's next door you know… "

I looked up at him. And he had the small smile on his face.

"No he isn't… "

"Yeah he is. Im heading over there right now. "

"So you didn't just come to see me. "

"Well baby, im hot and in demand. "

"I didn't ask for you to come, hot stuff. "

"But your glad I did. " He quipped

"Is he alone? " I asked

"No, someone must be in the room with him just incase he wakes up or there's some type of improvement. They even taught us some basic stuff. Em thinks he's a doctor though. He's like diagnosing patients that pass by. It's funny though. "

"Hey! Why don't you go say hi to him! He's wanted to see you buts' been too busy! "He looked very happy about the thought. A little too happy.

"Yeah send him over… "I wouldn't mind seeing Embry. I missed his antics and our talks. .

"No, come on! Come with me. "He egged

I wanted to avoid that room as much as possible. I last time I was in that room the heart monitor went off.

"No, it's okay. I can't leave me room anyway… "Any excuse that came to my mind was spilling out of my mouth fast then the hottest sports car I could afford.

"Come on. Don't be a pussy. "

"Shut up quill. You couldn't even jump from your window."

"It was high up! " He yelled

"Whatever. " I chuckled

"Come on, "he pulled the covers off of me and held out his hand.

"Why can't he come over here? " I asked

"Because Jacob will be alone… "

More alone then he thought.

"Why can't you go over there and send him over here… "It was simple. Right.

"Jacob won't hurt you. The guy's asleep. In some sort of coma… "

Coma. Something about hat words haunts me. Maybe it's the way I think of a coma. A dead mind with the slightest chance of living. The body was alive but your mind was somewhere else. Where was Jacob's?

"Look, maybe some other time. Im really tired … "

It's really all I had. I don't think I could see him again. Especially with Quill and Embry in the room. It's like an unspoken tragedy when they're there.

* * *

Quill left, Embry stopped by for a small chat. Explained his new adventures and how Jacob was doing. Said he really hasn't changed. And was as limp as a vegetable.

It was late at night. The night nurse walked in. asked if I needed anything. I usually said no but today I had a different request.

I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. A couple of days ago he was in a different hall from mine. Now he was right next door. And the freak in me was telling me it's because it had a purpose. That I was supposed to head over there and do something.

"Can I walk around a bit? "

"Sure sweetheart. "She smiled sweetly at me before disappearing into the bright hallway. I slipped on the slippers, grabbed my robe and walked out.

It was 2 in the morning and I hoped whoever was with Jacob was asleep. I walked softly towards his door. Pushed it open a little and saw his body laying there. He looked better then last time. I peered my head through and saw Quill lying on the chair. Drool rolled down his mouth. He was passed out completely.

I had to touch Jacob. I hoped he was warm again. Just a small touch of his warmth could keep me alive for days. Even months.

The same chair I sat in was still there. Plopped by his side. His room was covered in flowers and chocolates now. I smiled.

_Flashback_

"_Can I get these too. " I touched the small wolf toy and smiled_

"_You want the whole store? " The lady asked sarcastically _

"_No, some of it seems to girly… '" I laughed lightly and tied the balloons around the wolf's paw. _

"_I'll make a note of that. That will be 5 hundred and fifty. "She looked me over again and smirked. _

_Of course. The older lady didn't know I had the money for this. But I did. The look on her face when I handed her the money. All cash. _

"_Did you… "She was assuming I stole it. Then again what type of teenager carries around 500 dollar's in cash. Not many im assuming. _

"_No, I didn't. I have a job. And it pays well. "I explained _

"_What room number? "She asked her nose stuck in the air again. _

"_14. And don't sign it. It's anonymous… " _

_She looked at me as if I was crazy. " _

"_Are you sure?" _

"_Yeah, the room looked bland. … " _

"_Oh. Okay…. "My answer seemed to reassure her. _

"_Oh, and all those plush toys? " The bin was huge. Filled with oversize teddy bears, dragons and unicorns. _

"_What about them? " She asked _

"_Take them all down the children's ward. Put it on my tab. Room 13. "Finally cracking a smile she nodded. _

"_Good with me, miss Marquez. " _

"_Have a nice day, Judy. " _

_END FLASHBACK _

Te wolf sat by his bed. The balloons slowly coming don. They were in a need of helium.

I sat down quietly. Watched Jacob's body slowly rest before me. His chest looked fuller now. Some of his muscle looked like it came back. His hair was longer. Right at the base of his neck. He looked adorable asleep. Only he wasn't asleep. He was in some sort of coma.

"Did you like the decorations? "

"_Weird and girly, don't you think. " _I needed to get out of the hospital. I was going crazy. I was having conversations with my coma induced ex-boyfriend and making him and I have conversations. I didn't need a hospital room. I needed a padded room.

"Yeah I know, kind of weird and girl but I think it lives up the room. Not so dead… Quill wasn't a present though. He's more like a disaster. "I laughed at my joke and somewhere in my mind I could hear him laugh too.

"Sorry I didn't come earlier. I feel weird. Embarrassed ad ashamed. Quill and Embry know exactly what happened. Why I did it. Why I hurt you and they still forgive me. And that's why im ashamed. How good friends I have to open their arms to me and forgive me when im such a bad person. "

"I want yours though. I will never be the same because of you, you know. Poor Richie is saving every breath just so I can say those words to him. I do love him, just not like I love you. He's been patient, and understanding. But at times jealous. Not jealous like you get, he's a bit whinier." I laughed

"I was doing okay after awhile, then it just got bad. I started loving him like I loved you and I felt dirty. I felt wrong. Like the hookers in CSI episodes. You know the ones that end up dead. And I ended up dead. Dragging a helpless body with me. He knows about you, and your endless mark in my life. And im glad he stayed by my side. I have a feeling I know hwy I like him so much. He reminds me of you. He's very ambitions. Works hard for what he wants and doesn't stop till he gets it. The only difference between you two is… my love. You've always had it and he's always fighting for it….."

"_Why, you left me… " _

"I left because I needed to. I relied too much on you. Emotionally. And look where I ended up. Replying too much on someone else… but the comfort is addicting. I have someone to fall back on. "

"_So young and naïve. " _

"I know. Selfish really. … "

The idea popped into my head. And I wanted to stand up and look for a phone. Call Richie and break it off. Get time for myself and see what I really wanted and let people hurt me. Without anyone ready to catch me. Because in the end it's all I have, it's all I need. I need myself respect and I can't do that with people taking care of me 24/7. I need to remove my diapers and throw on the big girl panties.

"Im not using him. I really do care for him. Love him but it's not 'Jacob love'. It's not the warm and fuzzy feeling, the giggles when he farts because he does this adorable face. "I began to giggle of Jacob's fart fade. Some girls think it's gross when boys fart and it is. But I was in love and everything Jacob did was adorable and cute. No matter how nasty it was.

"Im settling with him and holding him back from finding his own love. "

"_Don't settle. … "_

"I won't for long. I think im going to end it. I owe it to him, to me… to you…" I it my nails down to the knuckle

"I never stopped loving you. And that's what stops me form loving him. And I put the blame on you Jacob. For being so amazing and …" I slipped my hand under his and watched it disappear. The fuzzy feelings retuned that second.

"I think we both know that I would always love you. And no other guy would take your place. It's pretty hard anyway since you freaking gigantic. "

I could cry silently. It was something I trained myself to do early on. Where the sobs were thrown out the window and my shame remained intact. I honestly was a horrible person. And I had no idea who I was. I claimed did to several magazines and interviews but really, I was lost. And I only knew a couple of things.

I knew my name and my love for my family. I knew music was what I loved. I was selfish and didn't see my ways as wrong. When that's all they ever were and I knew my love for Jacob will always conquer every other feeling I had. It's really what stuck out to me in my mind. That ever doubt I had every mistake I did and blamed, the one thing I was sure of was my love for this boy.

"Im sorry and I love you…. "

His hand clutched mine suddenly.

"Harley? "

**NOT MY FAVORITE CHAPTER TO WRITE. IT WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE. JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO. SOME OF IT WAS RIGHT AND THE NEXT PART WAS. IN THE END IT DIDN'T TURN OUT LIKE I PLANNED BUT I WILL DEAL. CAN YOU? **

**THOUGHTS? **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **


	8. Chapter 8

**I love that you guys reviewed. I have 3 other chapters done because eof it. I fi keep getting reviwes I will update sooner. Knowing that people are reading makes me know I owe it to them to write and update sooner. **

**Thank you .**

**The . Female. Lupus **

**Camsam17**

**KarleighStock**

**TooLazyToLogin**

**Guest**

**Her Highness GakI-chan**

**You guys are amazing! **

I almost fell over the chair but his hand tugged me back.

"Don't go…. "He whispered. His eyes were darker then I remembered. Way darker. The whites a soft yellow from the disease he was taking.

I wanted to run. What if he ripped my head off like he wanted to do a couple weeks ago? I am already in a hospital. More convenient for him, right?

"I won't hurt you… "I wanted to believe his words but I couldn't. I tore my eyes from him and looked over at sleeping quill. Hoping he didn't open his eyes to see a sick Jacob grip my small wrist.

"Im not sure if I will hurt you, though" the words escaped my mouth, unlocking his hand from my wrist. I found my step soon.

"Harley… "I didn't look back. Just stood in the door way waiting for his voice.

"Why. "

I didn't answer. I was a coward in every way possible. What did he want to know? Was I ready to tell him? I ran to my room and threw the covers over me. Hoping Xavier would show up and take me away.

I think the toy bin donation gave me good karma. Because eater crying my eyes out for an hour, Xavier came buy with a suitcase. He packed up my things and personally took me out.

The paparazzi were surrounding my house so I ended up in La Push's small spa resort at the end of town. It was hardly ever used; when I was here it only had 3 employees. But since the announcement of the festival, it had hired some seasonal employees. La Push was doing great business wise. Some locals were already complaining of crowding problems and traffic. It was something I didn't mind being blamed for actually. It kind of made me feel proud that I was helping in some way. Employment was up in town.

"Okay, the car will be here at 8. We have a promotional appearance in the dining hall tonight. "

"I don't have my formal clothes. "

"We're sending them in later. We got some new things in for you. "

I nodded and sat on the comfy bed.

"Get some sleep and take a shower. "

Xavier continued to talk but I ignored him. I lay on the bed and closed my eyes.

"_Why…" _the words just echoed.

"God, I hate this. I hate it all. "I groaned.

"What did you say? "

"Nothing, are you done? "

Xavier looked taken back by my tone.

"Bye."

I heard the door slam and I pulled at the covers. Throwing myself under and sleeping.

J.

"Quill. "The idiot didn't move. He continued to sleep on the chair like a baby. I looked at the needles in my arms and wondered how this could have happened. Needles weren't tough to break into my skin.

I grabbed the IV and pulled them out. One by one. Small droplets of blood came out and ran down my arm.

The tingling sensation hit. Clenching my fists repeatedly until I got full movement of them.

Harley. I had to see Harley. All I wanted to do was hold her. Tell her I was sorry and that I wouldn't let her slip away again. But I wanted to be right this time. I wanted to know she was mine for good. I wouldn't get played again.

"Get up, dumbass. " I slapped Quill in the face and he stood right up.

"What are…? Oh my….Nurse …"

"Shut up! Do you want them to hear?"

"Dude, what are you doing…. "

I walked around the room. Looking for a couple of clothes.

"Where are my clothes…? "

"I don't now…. "

I looked at quill. We were somewhat the same size.

"Give me your clothes. "

"What? "

"GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES… "

"Why … "

"Look, I got to go get Harley… "

"She's gone… "Quill and I looked at the woman. Her dark almond eyes piercing mine. She looked very familiar.

"What? I just saw her… "

"Her manager… grumpy man he is. Just came in the middle of the night and took her. "She looked somewhat upset with the decision. I know I did. That guy really ruined it.

"What time is it? " I can probably still catch her.

"It's a quarter to 5 in the morning. "

"How long ago did he pick her up? … "

"I'd say 2 hours ago… "She shrugged and grabbed my file that hung from the door.

"What kind of prick picks her up that early. " Quill questioned

"Fans are asleep at this time. There's less people on the streets. Easier to sneak her out. "She explained

It made sense.

"Are you going to give me your clothes or what? " I looked down at the hospital gown and wondered what size they gave me. It didn't fit me what so ever. It was like a very ugly mini dress for me. Right above my knee and my broad shoulders had the back right open. Damn it, that sounds gross.

"Here, there's no need for that. One of your friends left some clothes. "She pulled out a black bag from the closet and handed it too me.

"What friend? " I asked pulling out the back slacks and the nice black button up.

"Umm… "

"Forget, this is fine. "

"Looks like Emily. " I agreed. It was all really nice formal clothes and all in the right sizes.

"Maybe it was for her rehearsal dinner." Quill yawned and stretched.

"Possibly. " I ran to the mirror and checked my completion. I booked to good. Like one of those flashy catalog pretty boys.

"You need a hair cut. "

"Nah, I'll just … "I ran my fingers back my hair so it wouldn't look so dirty.

"Fuck, how am I supposed to… phase… "I made sure to whisper and Quill smirked.

"Here… "He threw me the black key at me and smiled.

"I'll find a way home. Just don't wreck the car. "

"What about the hospital… "I asked

'Are you feeling good? 'He asked

I've felt better. But I've also felt worse.

"Yeah. "

"Then I'll take care of it. "

"No, I will. I can just get everything done downstairs and you'll just need to sign yourself out. "

"You can do that? "

"Your 18? "She asked

I nodded

"Feel better? "

I nodded again

"Then yeah. "

"Alright. Where are you parked? "

"Umm, out on the back. Xavier… "

"Why does him…" I was going to ask why he had anything to do with this.

"It's Harley's car. " I looked own at the simple black key. No logo embedded on it like I expected.

"Alright. "

"Where you going… "Quill yelled

"To find her…. "

The black sports car was one I would only dream of. It was the newest model. It had all the latest features and the engine purred like a kitten. I was speeding through the streets like a mad man.

It only took a record 5 minutes to get to Harley's house. Her parent's lights were out. They were asleep like the rest of the normal people in La Push.

"Come on Jacob. Just do it. "

I hopped out and went after her window.

_Flashback _

_I tapped on her window softly. It was late at night but that didn't stop me from coming to her. _

_We talked n the phone late at night all the time but today it seemed different. She seemed focused on something else. Didn't talk like she normally did. And then she called me, asked me to come over. And like the love sick puppy I came over. In the rain, at 1 am in the morning. I rode the crappy bike and shoved in in a near by bush. _

_She appeared in the window. A soft smile on her pale face. _

'_Shh, Gloria's here for the weekend… " I hopped in and shut the window slowly. Making no noise. Her room was dark with only her candles lit. When I turned around I was caught in a surprise. _

_Dressed in black tank top with no bra, I could tell she was cold, really small black lace shorts and a satisfied smirk on her face. But the blush was enough to tell me she was shy. _

"_What…" _

_She walked to her bed and sat on the edge of it. _

"_I've been distant. " _

"_Yeah. I know. Why? " The question had killed me. I didn't want to ask. To scared to know what she thought. _

"_I didn't know how to say it, or how'd you think. " _

_I remained next to her window. Trying to hide my obvious boner with her dresser. _

"_About what? ' _

"_Come here…. "She motioned me over with her finger. The same mischievous smirk on her face made me coil on the inside. _

_What was she doing? Playing the role of seductress? _

_I walked slowly through the dark. Until I sat myself next to her. She arranged herself on the bed. Sitting criss cross applesauce next to me. _

"_I've been thinking… " _

"_About? . "I questioned further. _

"_Well. "She started movie. Standing up on her knees and moving her body close to mine. _

"_Christi Boggs and Michael Denter have been dating for how long? "She whispered into my ear. Her breasts were pressed up against my back. I could feel every inch and curve of those round fun bags. Relax; think of something nasty, Jacob. Don't spring a boner… _

"_Umm, I don't know… " _

_Her mouth connected with my neck. Soon she was placing soft kisses on it. I felt my entire body fully awake now. EVery nerve ending on end. Waiting to be touched and sent into a whirlwind. That's what her kisses did. They sent me away on a fun adventure. A crazy ride that had twist and turns and made you scream with passion and fun. _

_She was amazing._

"_4 months…. They have been dating for 4 months. "She purred _

_I felt myself slowly groan when she bit my ear. Her hands massaged my shoulders. _

"_Oh, that's great. " I was losing myself in her hands. I was silly putty. _

_She stopped suddenly and turned me towards her. _

"_We've been dating for how long? " She asked_

"_9 months… 9 amazing months. " I answered. _

_She wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands fell onto her waist as she pulled us both onto the bed. I lay over her. _

"_Yeah, 9 beautiful months. " Her lips touched mine softly and I couldn't hold it any longer. I kissed her harder and rubbed my hands over her body. Not touching her breasts once. That too I was a bit… too much. I would lovingly do it but she would kick my ass. _

"_That's twice as long as Christi and Michael. " She cooed. _

"_Yeah. " I wasn't listening to her. I heard her but my mind was too busy concentrating on her soft moans and purrs. _

"_So, I heard they finally done the deed. " _

"_Did they. " I continued to suck and nibble on her neck, soon making my way to her collarbone. _

"_Yeah, they've been doing it for awhile now and … " _

"_And what? ' _

"_I want to have sex. "My head sprung up and stared at her _

"_Why did you stop? " _

"_Wait, sex… "I sat up and she followed._

"_You don't? " _

"_No! " _

_She looked down at herself and looked appalled. Grabbing her blanket and pulling it over her. _

'_Am I not? " _

"_No, I mean. You're beautiful. Then any girl I had ever seen. But sex? " _

"_Yeah, I mean… I want to. " _

"_You want to or do you think you want to… " _

_She stayed quiet and licked her lips. _

"_I would be happy to do such an intimate thing with you, but I don't think it's time. "_

"_But Michael and Christi … "_

"_Michael and Christi will be done in a couple of weeks. And trust me, Christi will egret every little thing they do. "I laughed_

"_Are you saying…? " She looked confused and sad. My heart broke watching her with these facial expressions. _

_I grabbed her shoulders and looked into her hazel eyes. _

"_I love you and I don't see us like the other couples at school. I know sex is something really huge for couples our age but… I know im going to be with you forever. And I think you're hot, and sexy and beautiful. And im sure you can tell from this… "I pointed down to the swollen limb in my pants and she kissed my cheek._

"_But I want us to be ready. I want us to wait for that. If anything I want you to be aright with it. Make it special. " _

"_You want to make my first time special? You're such a good little boy. "She giggled _

'"_adorable, right?" I joked _

"_Most definitely. " She kissed my nose and pulled me into a hug. Her arms wrapped around shoulders tightly. _

_The smell of her hair just made me spin. _

"_I love you. " _

"_I love you too. " _

_End FLASHBACK_

Christi and Michael didn't even last that week. We did though. We last long enough to lose our virginity on our one year anniversary .but that's another story.

I climbed into her window and didn't smell her near. The room was empty, her bed still a mess. Clothes everywhere.

"Where can she be…? " My fingers tapped against her bed post.

I had the biggest urgency to be with her. To hold her. But like the moment I imprinted, I had another side. I had the side that wanted to hurt her. Scream and attack her for being so ruthless with my heart and affection.

I sniffed the air and caught her scent. It took over my body and soon I found myself lying on her bed. So many memories laying her with her.

My hands dug into her pillow until I hit something. I pulled out the warm bundle from under the pillows and found my old sweater. The brown ball wrinkly and old. The thing brought back memories of her wearing it. From the time she wore it in my garage, after we had sex for the first time, the moment I told her I loved her, the night before she left. …. It held so many memories.

The thing wouldn't fit me anymore. It's being so tight if I moved it break open stitch from stitch.

"Where can I find you….. " I asked myself

The house was completely quiet. No sound but the snores of her family in their rooms. All of them had come into town form what I heard. Staying until after the festival.

Suddenly the hallway light lit. The soft footsteps running downstairs quickly for the ringing phone.

"Yeah, where are you? " I stood up and didn't make a sound.

"Where? " George was talking to someone on the phone.

"La Push spa and resort? The empty one by the convenience store? "

"Alright, yeah. We'll come by later… " He continued to talk when I grabbed the sweater and the car keys. This was a sign. A bigger sign and I could sound stupid to you. But this was it. Im suppose to talk to her tonight. And I most definitely will.

The sun was coming up. The sky was removing the grey and coming over with some sunlight. It was going to be a good. And I hope the sun also shined when I talked to Harley. I wanted to know everything. THis very reason why I wasn't allowed to love her, why she moved on… Why she broke us.

I wanted answers from my soul mate. The girl I knew from the get go was meant for me. Now, with imprinting. I knew I was right. If only I could convince my angry side that. And most importantly her.

People were running inside and outside. Men in matching outfit carrying trays tables and trays.

Tall, black suited men with head sets looked at the workers. A couple of people tried to walk by but they blocked the passage. Turing away the fans who had hoped to catch a glimpse of Harley inside. The only people getting through were the people unloading the white truck.

"Here, let me help you. " I took two wooden tables from the man in front the loading truck.

He didn't question anything and just continued to unload. Im in….

I carried them into the dining room. Noticing the changed they made. The walls were draped in designer drapes, the windows were replaced with new and cleaner windows. The doors were being replaced, the floor was waved. The dance floor was cleaner then I had ever seen it. The mosaic of the wolf was finally possible to see. It was like the one on my shoulder, only bigger.

"No, put the tables over there! "

I looked down at the short man tapping his feet at me.

"Do you not understand? PUT THE TABLES OVER THERE. " The guy continued to yell

"Oh my god… Can I get a translator! "

"No no, where do you want them… "

"Over there, by the window…. "He followed me across the room where I settled down the big tables. He eyed me suspiciously through his glasses.

"What is a pretty face like you doing caring around tables…? "He asked

I ha d nothing against gay people but it's the first time I was hit on by a guy. And it made me feel awkward.

"Oh, umm. It pays well… "

"For someone your height, muscular and that bone structure. You have huge model potential. "

He walked around me. Eyeing me like I was a piece of meat.

"Oh no thank you… "

"Look sweetie, I'll be here all night. Maybe the entire week. If you still want a chance at stardom, call me. "He handed me a small white card and winked before running off toward another poor soul.

I knew my way around the resort. It was only 3 stories high so it wasn't like I was searching for something impossible.

Alright, where too.

I looked around the check in room and saw the old man sitting there reading the paper. I knew for a fact he was just hired to protect the room occupants.

Xavier walked up, holding a white bag.

"I need to send these up to Davidson Blacks room. "

_Flashback _

"_Superman has Clark Kent, Batman has Bruce Wayne… Beyonce has Sasha Fierce… I need an alter ego, Jacob… " _

_She pulled away from me. The wind blew her hair away form her face. Showing me those beautiful features. _

"_Alright, how about stinky ass? " I joked_

"_Yeah, if it was so stinky you wouldn't want to be back there all the time. "She smirked_

"_It could smell like shit and onions and I wouldn't turn it down. " And I was telling the truth. _

"_You're gross! " _

"_I love you that much… its like when you say you love my farts… " _

"_I never said I loved your farts. I love your face when you fart. " _

"_Same shit… "I laid back on the blanket and thought of her question. _

"_What's something that you like…? " She lay in my arms as we looked up at the clouds. The ocean breeze around us. _

"_Motorcycles… "She quipped _

"_How about Davidson? " She bit the inside of her cheek and thought for awhile. _

"_Kind of boring. Like, hello. I am Davidson. " _

"_Well what else do you like. " _

_She stayed quiet. Sitting up and looking out at the beach. _

"_Harley Black. " _

_It was meant to be something only she heard. But I heard it. I've always heard it sound off in my head. Only it was in my voice and not hers. But it sound much better when she suggested it. _

"_As in, Harley Nicole Black? " _

_She grinned down at me and jumped onto me. _

"_No, " _

"_Oh, yeah I mean as in Harley Jacob Black., my wife… " _

_She grinned form ear to ear and leaned into me. _

_People would think that at 14 we were crazy for thinking about love. When in all, we were just crazy about each other. _

"_She laid her head on my chest. Looking up at me all doe eye. _

"_Davidson Black. " _

"_Sounds badass. " I agreed and lifted my neck to kiss her. _

"_Hello, I am Davidson Black. _

_End Flashback. _

It was her. She was using her alter ego

The bellboy wrote down something and handed Xavier the paper.

"Thank you… "

Xavier walked down the middle hallway. Waiting for the only elevator to take him to Harley.

I looked around looking for something to take. Im sure the 5 bucks and my old sweater wouldn't be something she would need to be delivered.

Instead of tables being brought in, flower arrangements were pouring in.

"I'll take this."

The bouquet was of white roses. Probably some weird formal shit people do in Hollywood.

"Hey, umm im hear to see … Davidson Black… "The man looked at me

"For? "

"Umm… I have her flowers and sweater…. "He didn't look so convinced and was already moving his hand near the phone. Defiantly to call security on my ass.

"And I have her special song writing pen. She's giving a speech tonight and she needs it… "Way to lie our of your ass Jacob.

"Okay. . . "Did he really just accept that… was he that gullible?

If he was I was going to have to warn Harley about it

"Here. Tear the paper once you're done. "

I took the paper and headed towards room 41.

H.P.O.V

"Alright, I have about 3 different gowns you can choose from."

"Okay! Oww. "I was fed up with the new curling iron Xavier bought me. It was this weird new device with a comb and some drying effect. All I need was a fuckin inch barrel .my hair was dry.

"Okay, get some sleep. The bags under your eyes are really. .. "

"Shut up and leave… "I was tired and cranky. And the last thing I needed was Xavier telling me what to do.

"Oh, okay. " I had shrunk the busy man in less then an hour. I swear he walked around on eggshells now.

I couldn't sleep, but I was incredibly tired.

"Maybe some TV and hot chocolate." I walked over to the phone and dialed towards the kitchen.

"Kitchen services… "

"Umm can I have a thermos of hot chocolate sent up here? "

The door creaked, I looked back and saw the white roses coming trough. Probably another bell boy.

"Leave it on the table. " I yelled

"Yeah, miss Marquez. Is that all? "The person on the phone said

"Yeah, oh. Maybe throw in some marshmallows… "

"Anything for you, Miss Marquez. "

"Thank you. . ."

I scratched my head and yawned

"Im so tired… "I closed my eyes and plopped down on the big comfy bed.

"Me too … "my eyes burst open and my nerve endings electrified.

I looked up at the tall man I loved and didn't know to run away in fear or into his arms with love.

**I know you hate cliff hangers but I get so much enjoyment from writing them. I laugh like a French school girl! **

**And the moment I get a couple of reviews I will upload the next chapter! Promise. I wont wait a week like I normally do! **

**Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**thank you reviewers. **

**CAMSAM17**

**Her highness gakI-chan**

**Anubis freak**

**Greenwood101**

**Kreacher**

**Thank you so much for reviewing. **

It was a reflex.

"What are you doing here…?" I held the pillow in front of me. Immediately regretting it, the guy could use it to suffocate me.

"I asked you a question at the hospital… "

"I know. I heard. "He walked towards me but stopped when I collided with the table behind me.

"I promise I won't hurt you… "He begged.

"We need our space… "My heart was beating through my chest.

He didn't speak and sat down on the bed. His back to me.

"I deserve an explanation. "

I know he did. I knew the day I left that this day will happen. Only I pictured it happening when we were both married to other people. Both moved on. Right now, neither one of us was married and I clearly hadn't moved on. Just looking at his muscular figure in the designer clothes made me melt. Like a teenage girl fawning over her celebrity crush. The dirty sexual side of me wanted nothing but to take advantage of him. Take him prisoner here on my bed.

The softer side wanted to hold him and relish in this moment. When he was here when I was so gone and faraway.

"You owe me that… "

"I owe you my world… "My voice croaked and I sat across the bed. I kept my distance. I knew the damage he could do to me.

"Why… why leave me… "He looked back. His eyes wet with his tears.

I felt like the world was shitting on me. How horrible I was and everyone knew. Ashamed and ridiculous.

I shrugged and ran my tongue over my teeth.

"It felt … I felt… Like I needed to. "

"Needed to? You need to break my heart? "He was pissed

"No, it's not like that. " I shook my head furiously.

"Then how is it? "

"I needed some space, Jacob. "

"Couldn't you have asked me then, instead of leaving me out to dry. "

"No I couldn't. Because what I need was to be on my own. Away from you. "

The words hit him hard. He looks defeated.

"What did I ever do to you? "

"You made me invincible."

"And that's wrong? " He started crying in front of me.

_FLASHBACK _

_His sobs were not easy to take. But I had to be strong for my best friend. _

_My trip to grandmas was canceled because of it. I didn't mind I had to spend the first of summer in La Push this year. _

_My best friend needed me. _

"_Why her… "_

_I didn't know what to tell him. What do you ever tell someone who's lost their mom? _

"_You know I woke up that day feeling to weird. She was the first person I saw and the first thing I say was that I loved her… " _

_He sobbed into my dress and clenched my arms tightly. I didn't even dare wince. He was in worse pain. _

"_Before she left I hugged her and she kissed my head. Told me to be a good boy and walked out. " _

_She not only walked out of his house but his life. _

_Sarah was hit by a semi on her way to pick up a couple of papers from Port Angeles. She was on her own and died on impact. She wasn't in pain or suffered. It was just lights out. _

"_Im sorry, Jacob. " I rubbed his back and looked at my own mother. Dad and she were around Billy. Comforting him for the lost of his wife. _

_The casket was nailed shut in front of the room. _

"_Promise me something, Harley. " _

"_Anything. " _

"_You'll never walk out the door like that. " _

_I didn't know what he meant. But he was determined to get me to agree to this. So I nodded and agreed. _

"_Promise. " _

_ENDFLASHBACK _

I hadn't seen him release a tear like this since his mother died. We were only 11 and weren't even sure how important tears were.

Or what they meant. Unaware to the emotions that caused them. But when they came to our eyes and bodies we let them go and allowed the emotion take over us.

Funny right? How easy it was to cry and as we got older we felt ashamed over the simple body reaction.

"When you weren't by my side I realized I wasn't as badass as I thought I was. I screwed up so many times when we showed up to L.A that producers wanted to replace me. … I realized you weren't just my boyfriend but my everything. My superpower and kryptonite. "

"So that made you leave me… "He laughed bitterly

"I know it's not the best reason but it is what happened. "

"Do you regret it? "

Every once in awhile.

"I don't know. "

He turned and looked at me.

"I hate you. I hate you more then anything… But I don't want to. "

"I don't blame you, Jacob. I hate myself for leaving you too. I could've told you first but in all, I didn't want to have that conversation with you. "

"The breakup talk? "

"Yeah, "

"So you did care for me when you left "

"Well duhh, you were my first everything. "

He smiled softly at me and looked back down at the bed,

"Answer me this…. "

"Anything… "

"Was leaving me worth it? "

"No. "

He had just gotten up and left. Left me in my room sitting on the corner wondering what just happened. He left with no verbal or facial goodbye. I had no idea what he felt.

I knew I felt confused.

He didn't want to kill me, or hurt me. He just wanted to talk.

I knew that maybe this was it. Maybe that was our breakup talk. And I handled it well. I cried just a little until the hair lady came by. I blamed my puffy eyes on the 3 hours of sleep I had. She didn't ask questions.

Cara came by and did my makeup. She worried about my puffy eyes ruining her vision of tonight. But she made it work

I sat in the chair for 5 hours wondering what I do now. I had no path in my life to follow now. As if Jacob was my path in life, and once he was permanently gone, so was my path.

I felt useless once again. Like everything I did wasn't worth anything. I didn't help anyone or anything. Like I was a waste of breath and blood.

"There. "

I looked in the mirror and enjoyed the final look. Xena had them pull my hair up into a loose bun. Strands of my wavy hair falling out elegantly. My eye makeup was dark and very 50's inspired. Along with the dark red lip that they threw on me.

The dress was something else. The soft black feathery fabric was cut into a sweetheart neckline and created a smaller silhouette down the middle of my hips and stomach. Leaving my body squeezed tight until reaching my shins. The baric pored out and around my feet like a mermaid's tail. It would be pretty revealing if it wasn't for the sheer lace covering my collar bone and arms. My back was fully revealed for the world to see.

"You ook beautiful… "Xena looked at me in awe and grinned like a child on Christmas morning.

"Thanks. " I didn't feel much like it.

"Alright, what's the long face? "

"Im just … "

"Boy troubles. I know. They suck but don't let it get you down. Your better then that. "

"Its easier said then done, Xena."

"That saying was made up by a person who didn't know how to control their emotions. Someone who wanted to sit in their pity. Wallow and allowing others to form an idea in their mind and letting it just happen. "

"Your right. "

"When am I never. "She sat on the counter with a cheeky grin.

"Thanks. I shouldn't let some drama keep me from being happy. "

"Look, its okay to fuss over things. But when it starts messing with every aspect of your life. You're better off just turning the cheek and forget about it. "

The event was something bigger then I expected. They went all out. The dark brown and beiges filled the room. The white and red long stem roses filled the tall vases. Everyone in their fancy attire talking to one and another as a crew of waiters walked around carrying trays of cheeses and grapes.

"Stay here… "Xavier left me down in the lobby alone.

"You look beautiful! " Remy pulled me up into his arms and kissed my cheeks. His slobbery kisses usually made me groan in disgust but I founded the giggles in me.

"You guys look amazing too. "

In the midst of my twirl I got a look at the guys. All dressed in tuxes and a white rose in their jacket pocket.

"Let me down, asshole. " I pulled his long hair and he let me down.

The boys looked at me weirdly. Dylan's eyes twitched and if let myself realizing they were watching me intently.

"What? "

"You look …..… "Remy couldn't find the word. But the gathered eyebrows were telling me he was still thinking about it. Dylan just stood there looking lost and confused as Taylor Swift after Kanye took her reward. I was front and center for that. Wow, that was a disaster.

I felt like I still looked sick. Maybe I should be gotten a spray tan before.

"Different. But a good different. "Thomas used a napkin and whipped off the slobber and nodded down at me.

"You're not lying, right? "

"We'd tell you if you look like shit. "

"The spray tan is gone… "Dylan twirls me around and looked at my back.

"Yeah, you look like the old you. " Thomas declared

"A bit thinner but … "

"We'll fix that. " Remy grinned

"Aright, you guys ready. "

Xavier and Victor walked over. Both dressed up as well.

We only nodded and waited to walk in.

"Mingle with the groups. Don't stay in one place. "

They advise us.

I took a breath and looked over to my band.

"Ready to fuck shit up? "

They looked at each other and nodded.

"It's been a while since we heard you say that. "

* * *

J.P.O.V

I couldn't blame her. I think I would've done the same thing. And I had he same thoughts. We were too dependent on each other and that wasn't right. You're supposed to be able to stand on your own.

But it didn't give her a reason to do it the way she did.

It broke my heart to her answer the question I always had on my mind.

Ever have a question and never want the answer. But it kills you not to know. That was this dilemma.

I wanted to know but knew I was better of not knowing. I left the room before something could happen. I showed her my vulnerable side already. Crying like the vulnerable love sick dog I was, pun definitely intended.

"You alright? " Seth stood in front of me, nibbling on a small expensive cheese tray.

"Yeah, just… "

"I heard. "He blushed sheepishly and watched the crowd of rich Hollywood executives mingle with the average Joes of La Push. A mix that didn't make sense.

"Where? Leah tells you. "I growled

"Yeah, you should try to keep your thoughts a bit more closed off. "

I scoffed

"Leah needs to stop invading them. "

"It's really hard when your life's a total teen soap opera. "

"Cant you watch TV instead of getting into my problems. "

"You were running during my patrol time. Plus you didn't guard them well. "Leah appeared in a purple ball gown complementing her thin figure. She cleaned up nice.

"I can't. "It was hard for me when I was in a pickle. Like my will power was down.

"I know. You just have to try harder. "The three of us stood in front of the food table watching people laugh and smile. Seth just ate his tray before finding his mother and walking over to her and Charlie. , Leah sipped on some wine while I stood there with my hands in my pocket wondering where she was.

"How long was it unit you got over Sam? "

"Truthfully, I don't think im over him. " I watched her circle the rim of her glass and smile into it.

"It's hard to forget how much he meant to me. He was a big part of my life, Jake "

"Do you hate him? "

"I did, and it wasn't until a couple of months ago when it finally hit me. "

"What? "

"That I can't force someone to love me. And I know he still loves me. It's just not like his love for Emily. "

"How do you feel about Richie? "

The growl was louder and the small older lady grabbing a few orange slices and looked at me and slowly and quickly ran away in fear.

Leah laughed and shook her head

"He's actually a very nice guy. "

"Whatever. "

"He takes care of her well. And from what Remy tells me, he's patient with her. "

"You need to be patient with her. " I smiled softly at my imprints ways.

"Yeah, not a lot of people could do that." I always thought it was me who could do it. Could handle a fire ball like her. But I was wrong. There was someone else.

"It takes someone madly in love to handle it. " Leah looked me way. Sending me a message instantly. My knuckles cracked loudly.

"Is she? " This time I wanted the question answered

"She's not IN love. But she does love him. He's there for her unlike some of the other Hollywood elite. "She joked

"That's good. "

"He's IN love with her though. Would do anything for her. "

And I know why. Because he saw her for what she really was. A stubborn, confused, playful, fiery girl who had dreams and ambitions like everyone else. And she bit and fought anyone who was in her way.

"That's what sucks. He has her and he could easily take her away. Leah, im a thing in the past. I can't take care of her like him. He takes her around the world and buys her nice things. Designer bags and clothes that could make Paris Hilton jealous. Who am I? A poor native boy who has no career or money to spoil her. He can give her the world."

It wasn't anger or guilt. But pity. I could've done something in my life and when she returned she could've seen the man I became. But I didn't .I I wasted away and became nothing but a stupid werewolf. I hunted vampires for a living. It was cool but no one could know. So I had nothing.

"She's your imprint. You're always going to be her number 1. He won't ever beat you. You at least have that. "

I know understood Leah. I looked up into her eyes but realized she wasn't staring at me anymore. Her eyes were on Sam and Emily. Her own cousin and first love dancing happily in the middle of the ball room floor.

Both content and happy. And free of any troubles.

"I wouldn't ever hurt their relationship. Because I know he was never mine, just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. Sometimes it's better in someone's arms. "

"I agree. "

She tore her eyes away at the two lovebirds and shook her head at me.

"You… you and her are perfect. And you guys have grown apart but you to deserve the greatest love ever. How many people can say they known their soul mate their whole lives? Not many, but you can. Just because pretty boy can provide for her doesn't mean anything. We both know, Harley isn't materialistic. And even if she had a change of scenery, it doesn't mean she has changed completely, Jacob. He can give her jewelry, a new car but no man will ever love her like you do. And I know for a fact she knows that. "

"Deep down …. "

"No…. "She cut me off and set her glass aside

"She knows it well. Its there for her everyday. In her mind screaming loudly that she's with the wrong person. She knows who she belongs too but her pride and shame won't let her realize it. It's simple … "

"But Harley wont take the simple route. "

"And that's why this is happening now. "

I understood Leah as I found my imprint. She giggled into Thomas's arm and shook her head. Remy was feeding Dylan grapes like a royal king. She looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled back like a messy hair do girls are doing these days. Her makeup was done like it use to. Her Skin wasn't colored with that fake tan. The dress stuck to her body. Showing off her slim figure. I preferred her bit fuller but she looked beautiful in her dress. And that smile. I hadn't seen it in years.

"It's a race to see who has the better patience for her…." it made sense.

"But Leah? "

"What? "She asked

"What if she can't see it, and chooses him. "

"Jacob, what's the one thing Sam says to do if you're corned by leeches? "

"You fight to the death. "

And I think that's what im going to have to do to get my imprint. I had to make her realize that I loved her and she had to realize hat she will always love me.

Sure, it's cocky but why deny something that's obviously there. I won't stop fighting for something that's meant to be. I'll be the man she needs and loves. Like she always has.

**SO LET THE FIGHTING BEGIN. IVE REACHED A POINT WHERE I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO WRITE ABOUT FOR THIS STORY TAHT MY FIGNERS ARE SHAKING WITH GLEE. **

**ITS ALSO AT THE POINT WHER EI CAN START WRITING MORE HARLEY AND JACOB SCENES. IM HOPING YOU'LL SEE A DIFFRENCE IN CERTAIN CHAARCTERS IN FUTURE CHAPTERS. IM REREADING AND REWORKING THE NEXT TWO . **

**HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ONE? **

**THIS CHAPTER MADE ME REALIZE MY LVOE FOR LEAH CLEARWATER. SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS OF THE ENTIRE TWILIGHT SERIES AND MY MIND IS ALREADY TIHNKING ABOUT STORY LINE SI CAN WRITE FOR HER. SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU SEE AN ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A NEW STORY ABOUT HER. **

**THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ALL REVIEW! **


	10. Chapter 10

**ITS BEEN MORE THEN AWHILE AND I KNOW THIS IS HORRIBLY LATE BUT I AM DEEPLY SORRY. IM NOT GOING TO WRITE ANY EXCUSES AND JUST POST THIS CHAPTER AND HOPE I STILL HAVE READERS AND PEOPLE WILLING TO REVIEW. IF I DO I WILL HAPPILY KEEP POSTING. THANK YOU. **

"Can everyone please take their seats? " Zachary Vivian spoke into the microphone placed at the center of the dance floor.

The spotlight was on him as he held the perfectly filled wine glass in his hand

Thomas grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from a group of producers. I did the same with Remy as we made our way towards our table. Xavier and Victor sat at the round table discussing something quietly and immediately stopped when the band and I sat down.

"Alright, thank you. And right now I will like to thank …. "

"What do you think they were talking about? " Thomas whispered into my ear.

"Don't know, did you see how fast they stopped? "

He nodded and kept his eyes on Mr. Vivian

"Last and not least, Enigmatic! " The spotlight raised off of him and hit our table. The crowd rose from their bums to their feet and began to clap.

"Go on… go... "Our managers pushed us toward the stage.

"I'm not going to speak... "

"Why? "

Thomas was always like my older brother, he watched and looked out for me. And if I wasn't around to say what goes for the band. He was. He was the dad in the group and I played the role of mother.

Rumors in the past had put us together as lovers but we just laughed it off. I don't think we would ever grow romantic feelings towards each other. There's a point in a relationship where everything gets set in stone.

"I'm nervous… "

We stopped around the room. The clapping had quieted down and everyone was once again seated in their respected seats. We stood behind our managers as they both softly spoke into the microphone about the opportunity this has given the town.

I looked around the room and saw my mom and dad, sitting with Charlie and Sue, Billy sat with the council

My heart was beating slowly. Like a slow-motion effect was set at that moment. I looked around and saw the tall dark stranger by the entrance. Sipping on a short glass that didn't fit into his huge hands.

My mind went to this afternoon. He didn't seem angry or insane. Sad was a different question.

I still pictured him crying as he looked at me. Demanding an answer and then listening to it. I wanted to feel bad for telling him why I left but I couldn't. Even if I tried I couldn't feel that emotion. Instead I felt relief and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. If the same was for him then I guess was lucky. But you never know. Two people can't have the same feeling for things. It's always going to be different. One can feel it stronger while the other can just barely feel it.

It will be different that's for sure.

I felt a hand push me forward and I almost slipped with the restraints of the tight dress around my legs.

The crowd laughed and I felt myself groan.

"Well, I guess I'll speak… "

I swear you could hear crickets go off as I stood there. Practically shaking like a Chihuahua.

But I was nervous. I can perform in front of thousands of strangers but once i was home I was shell shocked. These wer people who knew me, they know my family and friends. They have a pre conceived idea of who I am. And It could change with one bad move. It's easier in front of a room with strangers. They have nothing to judge you by before.

"Xavier and Victor spoke about the opportunity this has given the town of La Push and Forks… I disagree with that… "

My eyes met La Push's council as they sat on their very own table. Looking at every one of them in the eyes until I got to Billy's. They all eyed me oddly and some even tilted their head slightly.

"The opportunity isn't for La Push but for us as a band. We've grown up in these neighborhoods. We played baseball in the parks and had our first and only gigs at Franklin's. This is home. And to be able to do this for you guys is amazing. … "I stopped and got myself together. I looked around and saw my mom softly crying into my dad's arms. She got emotional whenever something like this happened. Where we were recognized for making it big. I guess it's just a mother's love.

"Selfish reasons kept us from doing this and to finally seeing that stage built at first beach is enough for us to realize what we have been missing. I'm sorry we took so long but I hope you continue to open your arms to us. Because We're finally ready to let you guys in. our fans are ready to see where it all started and the beautiful culture and place La Push in. thank you for giving us this moment and we won't let you down. "Everyone held up their wine glasses. I was empty handed and smiled softly at the crowd.

"WE LOVE YOU LA PUSH! " Remy yelled into the mic causing the laughter to erupt into the clapping.

The managers stood aside and let us stand there. Side by side , Arms wrapped around each other and a smile on each of our lips.

I bit into the smoked salmon and listened to Dylan talk about this girl he met. Apparently she was cool and a total hottie and he was going to get it in.

"Sleeping around is going to get you herpes , man. " Thomas agreed with Remy

"We are on top of our game, guys! Why not? "

"You want to get a STD? Girls these days are as dirty as boys! Especially groupies… "

I sipped on my water and looked around the room. Everyone was currently eating away at the food, softly talking amongst their tables.

I looked around discreetly, looking for the tall shadow that haunted my thoughts. I hadn't seen him since my speech. Which got a lot of positive feedback when I sat back down at my table .Billy was rolled over and thanked me on behalf of the tribe. But like I said, it was all us who were thankful

We were lost, infatuated with the fans love and support. That we lost who we were and forgot everyone who stood by our sides. Well, I did.

But this was something new. A new checkpoint in our life. This time we weren't going to do it alone. We were going to have our family alone with us.

"You okay, Hars? "The guys asked

I rolled the peas around in on my plate and felt something in me stir up.

I looked up and saw Jacob move toward the cheese table.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go get some cheese. " I stood up and ignored the requests to bring something back.

I didn't know why I wanted to go and be near him. It was just an urge. Similar to an adrenaline rush. If anything I knew I wanted to see his face again, ask him if he was having a nice time. If he forgave me and missed me as much as I missed him.

You know what? I just want to be near him.

I made it to the table. He was more than an arm's length away. I was watching him from the corner of my eye. He was filling his drink with some of the wine. Grabbing the small pigs in a blanket, just making himself a plate of food.

The cheeses were different types, from fancy moldy cheese to string cheese. I started throwing the pieces on my plate and trying not to make this awkward.

"Is moldy cheese good? "The voice startled me at first but soon it just melted away.

"Umm, no. I think it's gross. "

Jacob shoved the cheese in his mouth and nodded his head.

"I actually like it. "

"That's fuckin gross. "

He smiled down at me and nodded.

"6th grade, Embry's old chewing gum collection. " He remembered

"Yeah, you couldn't say no. " I shook my head at his childhood games

"He called me a bitch… "He explained

"And when Embry calls you a bitch…"

"You know you have to step it up. "He finished.

I stopped myself from laughing and realized what just happened.

"Weird out? "He asked

I nodded my head and bit into the cheddar cheese.

I didn't know how normal he acted. So much like a friend.

"Why did you leave earlier today? "

He motioned his head towards the door and threw a couple of pigs into his mouth.

"You want to walk? " He held out his hand and gave me the softest stare ever. It was pleading for me to go with him.

I looked back around the room. Everyone looked busy and enjoying themselves.

"Yeah. " I hiked up my dress and took his hand. Leaving the room quietly.

**R.P.O.V **

I sat down on the bed and shook my head. The screams of the teenage girls were loud and gave me a headache.

"Can't hang, Richie Rich? " Cassidy sat on the couch and smoked her ciggeret. Laughing to herself.

"I can hang… "

I stood up and looked out the window. The city lights were bright and shined intensly.

"oh, sorry. "

My phone suddenly vibrated and I reached for it.

I was tired from the New York premiere of our movie and just wanted to sleep. If anything I wanted talk to Harley. She brought me back down, grounding me.

_Google Alert _

_Harley Marquez ballroom looks. Fashion Forward. "_

I had recently google alerted Harley. If there was any article that she was in I was going to see it. No more hearing it through the grape vine.

Her picture was there. She looked beautiful in her designer dress. She looked paler then usual, like the first night we met. Her tan had wahsed away like my headache. I swear this girl was everything to me. Like my very own personal brand of advil.

"a love sick fool. What she txt you this time? "Cassidy was flipping through the channels in our conjoined rooms. The hotel we were staying at was packed and the only room was one with two beds. So we took it.

Harley and I seemed to be on track again. She called and txted me every chance she got.

"Nothing, just a picture of her." I shrugged and saved the picture to my gallery.

"Wow, that's so cute. "The sarcasm was in Cassidy's voice.

"Yeah, it's what you do when you're in love. "

"I guess… "She seemed sadden by the story. Her eyes narrowing down.

"You ever been in love, Cassidy? "

"Why does it matter to you? "She threw the cigarette on the ground and stood up. Smashing it into the tile floor with her 6 inch stilettoes.

"Well sorry for wanting to know why you're so bitter… "

"You know what? People like you should be put away. You think everything is so amazing in love. It's not. It won't be. Because she will one day spit you up, Richie. "

"You don't... "

"I do know. Because it happened to me. You think Mario Swift had it planned to break my heart? If he did then he would be an asshole. But no, he had something else on the side. And one day... "

She sat on her bed, her back facing me. The sobs soon started and I got up and sat next to her. Bringing her into my arms even if she was as bony as a skeleton.

"One day what? "

"He dumped me, Richie. He saw something better and left me. I was in love and one day he wakes up and realizes that I wasn't what he wanted. I was only something to help him pass his time."

I looked at Christine who had tears in her eyes.

"Shut up! " She walked across the room and sat on the couch. Not looking me in the eye like she always did with her fierce confidence.

I watched the highly confident girl now shrivel up and sob uncontrollably. I went over and brought her to my arms. Fighting off her nudges until she gave in and sank into my arm.


End file.
